NO ONE IS HAPPY

Can we all agree that no one is happy? Chick-Fil-A certainly does not want this kind of publicity. Even if people are showing up in droves to support them, it's just not the attention a company wants. They want to talk about their chicken sandwiches and that one mysterious pickle slice. Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders are not happy. It's another scary reminder that an entire network of organizations exist in this country committed to keeping them repressed, spreading lies and fear, actively denying rights that are available to anyone else. Christians can't be too happy either--those who feel that gays are "shoving it in their face" (more on that later), threatening their beliefs, and those who feel misrepresented by the anti-gay faction in the church. I read on D Magazine's Frontburner blog yesterday this comment by Edward: "What happened to the Christianity that I grew up with? I mean, as Baptists we weren’t particularly fond of the Catholics (they drank liquor!), but all-in-all we learned about loving people and spent our money on helping out poor people in America and overseas." Christians, that comment can't make you happy, can it?

I've read Facebook. No one is happy about the situation.

Here are some thoughts on the matter.

1. It's more than just the thoughts and free speech of one person. The CEO of Chick-Fil-A said "we." He is speaking on behalf of the entire company. It's also not just what he said, but where their money is going. For example, they support the Family Research Council. That organization is pretty messed up. Among other things, they spent $25,000 to lobby Congress AGAINST condemning Uganda's "kill the gays" bill. (Yes, I know it's odd wording. There's some perverse political reasoning here, i.e. we're not supporting killing gays, we're just not condemning the killing of gays in another country.) **UPDATE: In the comments section, Aaron and Kris Rhodes clarified the Uganda issue. Make sure to read about it.**

2. Let's keep the discussion on topic. This isn't about President Obama and his flip-flop on the issue. (Why does everything lead back to "NObama"? I get it. You don't like him.) This isn't about liberals having a double standard, e.g. "so open minded, until you say something they don't like." You got me. Liberals are self-righteous. I've met some self-righteous conservatives too. Can we claim a tie? However, I don't think this is a true liberal/conservative issue. I know many conservatives who are die-hards on the issue of individual freedom and removing government interference from our personal lives. As a result, they support gay marriage. Or just think "marriage" shouldn't be a legal institution at all, whatever.

3. Facebook isn't helping. Not really. At a certain point, I feel like Brick Tamland from Anchorman: "I don't know what we're yelling about!" "Loud noises!"

4. I have a lot of former students who follow me on Twitter and sometimes read this blog. If you work at Chick-Fil-A, and you feel strongly about gay rights, you should quit Chick-Fil-A. Teenagers work fast food chains. They need you. Ultimately, you'll find another job. They'll find a replacement. But years from now, you'll feel good about taking a stand. Trust me. In high school, I spoke out at the National Youth Conference for the United Methodist Church in favor of gay rights. I received my first death threat, slid under our hotel door. It's my first and only death threat. Scary as hell, but I'm proud of what I said.

5. Yes, the boycott probably won't hurt Chick-Fil-A in the long run. They will be just fine in the months ahead. However, it's okay to boycott something even if it's unsuccessful. For instance, I boycotted the movie Clockwork Orange. I watched a little bit of it, and then turned it off. I refuse to watch it. Rotten Tomatoes has Clockwork Orange listed at 91%. People love that movie. I'm not going to win, but it's a personal moral stance and I'm allowed to it. I also know that if we boycotted every corrupt and narrow-minded corporation, we'd go insane. Point taken. We're still allowed to boycott Chick-Fil-A.

6. I also think lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders (LGBT) will be fine. Too many people love and support their LGBT friends and family. Too many people care. I simply won't budge an inch on the rights of others to love and marry who they want to love and marry, and I'm certainly not alone. It's a matter of faith, love, and compassion.

7. Christians. You're not going to win this one, because even if you "win" you lose. In the end, I think this only hurts Christians. I'd recommend this book. If you're not willing to read this book, you should examine why you believe what you believe--and how seriously committed you are to "God's Truth." Or do you just mimic what others have been led to believe? Be well-read on your faith. Christians are exchanging principles of love and compassion for zeal. And while we'd like to think differently, zeal impresses no one. Love one another. Don't compartmentalize your understanding of love. Lovely freely. If God isn't loving, then I'd say the God of Christainity does not exist. The only way we know about God's love is through the love we share with one another. Christians, if you took a moment to talk with someone who is LGBT, really talk, and learned how much you were hurting them, you'd change. I sincerely believe that.

8. Gays are not "shoving homosexuality in your face." I have gay friends. I have lesbian friends. I have bisexual friends. I have transgender friends. Yes, I won LGBT friend diversity bingo. You know what we talk about? Comic books, sports, work, food, our families, pets, cool TV shows and movies. It's the same goofy conversations I have with my straight friends. I don't think in terms of gay friends/straight friends. They're just my friends. I care about all my friends, and I'm lucky to have them. My wife and I went to Round Up Saloon a while ago. It is a wonderfully, awesomely gay place. My wife and I had a great time dancing to Lady Gaga and Kelly Clarkson. At no point was I uncomfortable or felt like anything was being "shoved in my face." I was hanging out with friends that I don't see nearly enough, and we were all just being ourselves. That's cool.

(Straight homophobic men, are you afraid that gay men will view you with the same objectified violent viewpoint that you may have towards women? Are you afraid of being emasculated? What is it that so upsets you?)

9. And my last point, which is someone else's point. I'm not gay, so I can't truly speak on behalf of gays and their experiences. And it's not as if there's a handbook of unified gay opinion on any issue. I can only speak on my own experience and my own beliefs. However, I think my friend Richard sums it up best here:

I'm tired of all the straight folks telling me their opinions about Chick-Fil-A.

You're not the people they hate. You're not the people they discriminate against while they hide behind a good Christian banner. For every sandwich, 10 cent goes to a cause that wants to cure me. Every 5 cents goes to a cause that preaches I should be banished to an island or killed.

Eat your sandwich or your waffle fries. Have your opinion.

They hate me. They would lock me up. They would deny my relationship with Chris. They would have me banished or killed.

They publicly and financially do so.

If you feel like I misunderstood or misrepresented your perspective, by all means, post a comment. I will discuss, but I will not turn this blog into a forum for ranting and fighting. Show respect, intelligence, and self-moderation. I will do likewise.

IS THIS A CONTEST?

Wizard World has a new contest available. You could win the chance to work for them. Here are the details: * Submit a video showing your crazy vlogging (not a word) skills. The video will be uploaded to the Wizard World's YouTube channel. * Get friends to vote on your video. * The top 10 contestants will work as videographers at the Wizard World Chicago Comic Con. You must cover at least two of the four days. * Wizard World will pay your admission to the convention. * Wizard World will not pay your airfare and accommodations.

How is this a contest? First, you are giving their YouTube channel free content AND freely promoting them. Second, you will be working for them, producing more video content for free. (Advance tickets are $75. Not including editing time, that's being paid $37.50 a day--hardly even minimum wage. It's not a deal.) Third, you have to pay your way there, including hotel and food. Congratulations, you won!

On Wizard World's end, it's not a bad idea. They get some enthusiastic vloggers (not a word) to help them out and add some media content to whatever it is they are now.

However, don't call it a contest. That's insulting to real contests. Just say you're looking for ten people willing to volunteer their time and talent to cover the Chicago convention. You'll find people happy to help. Want a better contest? Best dirty limerick wins, and you get lunch with the Boondock Saints. Sign me up.

STANDARD 3.0

The switch to Wordpress a few years ago kinda blew my mind. I had suffered through web design for several years, always with mixed results. In other words, I knew just enough to be bad at it. Once I started using Wordpress, things became so much easier. Last year, I decided to pay for a nicer theme. I bought Standard, and I've been very happy with it. Nice, clean design, simple to manage. Recently, they upgraded to 3.0, which is what you see here. (Ta-da!) I really like the changes they've made. The overall look is even cleaner and classier. For example, I really love the "quote" format in 3.0.

It's mobile theme ready. This means Standard 3.0 will detect mobile devices, both phones and tablets, and display my website optimized for that device. You can check this out on your smart phone. It's pretty cool.

It's search engine friendly. I can preview how my post will look in Google live as I create the post. Standard has self-educating SEO features.

They've improved the social icons, where I can now modify and create my own.

They moved all advertisements into widgets. All advertisements are managed from within the widget themselves. I should be adding a 300x250 ad in the right margin soon.

The author profile management is smarter, and everything is better integrated with the latest version of Wordpress.

Admittedly, I copy-and-pasted-and-adjusted a lot of this post from the email they sent to me. But it's all true! They sold me on Standard, and I'm used to using them.

MY PAST AS A PASTOR

Yesterday, as I was trying my best to be productive with my procrastination, I realized I didn't have any of my Next-Wave (UPDATE 11/16/12: Links removed due to Malware... what happened Next-Wave?) articles saved anywhere. Yes, over thirteen years ago, when the Internet was young, I wrote for this website. I contributed 24 essays on issues related to faith and culture (read more about that here). I was even editor-in-chief for a short time. I offered decent editorial direction. I had ideas that were somewhat original at the time--made sure each essay was also available as a downloadable pdf, tried to keep submissions under 1000 words, attempted that "blog thing" with the editor/publisher section, and added a message board. I found some great contributors. My web design skills were terrible at the time, and I didn't have Wordpress to lean on. But hey, the site looks nicer now.

So, I went through Next-Wave's archives and copy-pasted everything I wrote into a Word document. It amounted to 35,104 words. Not too shabby for a young writer. In 2008, I contributed one last essay about my own "loss of faith." From that essay:

"Recently, I took time to read what I had written previously, expecting to be completely horrified by it. And you know? Not too shabby. A few of my essays had some ideas that still hold up--a little bit of wit, sloppy reasoning here and there, and a whole lot of enthusiasm. I remember the more I wrote, the more anxious I got to make Next-Wave subversive. I wanted to shake things up in a positive way. At a certain point, that anxiety probably got the best of me."

It's clear NOW that I was using those essays to work out my own issues. Occasionally, I was straight-up trying to start shit.

"If I think this way, will you still accept me? If I believe this, will you still call me one of your own? If I act different, will you still trust me? How far will the community stretch to include those who don’t fit the mold--without any pretense to conform them?"

These are not good qualities for someone wanting to be a pastor. You'll drive yourself nuts. And it's a good thing I didn't go that route. However, I wonder if it'd be interesting to go back through those essays and have a polite discussion with the younger version of me. Would anyone else be interested in reading it? Would anyone publish it?

SHOWING SUPPORT FOR CHAMPION OF CHILDREN

Thanks to Samax for this great caricature of me and for the kind words on his website (click here). Caricatures and kind words are always appreciated. I'm a proud backer of Ghostwerks Champion of Children, Vol. 1 project on Kickstarter (which includes Samax). The project has reached its funding goal with 22 days left. So if you pledge, you will see the comic come together, and your reward is a done deal. Not too bad.

Corance, Samax, Mike, and Khalid -- these guys represent the very best of our Dallas art and comics scene. They've been producing for years, and it's a thrill to see them at work.

Go here to show your support: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/815577875/return-of-the-champ-champion-of-children-vol-1

WHY DOWNTOWN ARLINGTON

Since I so greatly dislike Downtown Arlington's new signature logo and felt the need to vent yesterday, today, I would like to say what I love about Downtown Arlington. Hopefully, the clown-like horror show of a logo won't scare away people, because there's a lot to enjoy and so much potential. 1. Potager: Local Organic Cafe -- The best food in Arlington is located on 315 S. Mesquite Street. It's a cool place, fresh food with a constantly changing menu. The people who work there are friendly and clearly love what they do.

2. J.R. Bentley's -- It's a cozy pub with great hamburgers. And with their delicious corned beef, they've become a St. Patrick's Day tradition for my family. They have free Wi-Fi, so it also makes for a nice working lunch break. It's my favorite Arlington bar, and the first place where I take visitors.

3. George W. Hawkes Central Library -- Yeah, I went from bar to library. That's how I roll. It's a great library, always busy and full of life. Beautiful layout. I could spend hours browsing the books or writing in a nice quiet corner. Plus, it was bike-friendly before bike-friendly was cool.

4. Levitt Pavilion -- Right across from City Hall, Levitt is the official/unofficial heart of Downtown Arlington. The Levitt hosts free live music and other events throughout the year. It's very well designed. Add two or three concrete chess tables (like what you have in New York's Washington Square Park), and the place would be perfect.

5. J. Gilligan's -- This bar and J.R. Bentley's seem to be direct competitors. But to me, they reflect two completely different bar/pub/restaurant philosophies. I love J.R. Bentley's because it's warm and relatively subdued. J. Gilligan's is larger, louder, and more ready for a party. They make regular use of their parking lot, converting it to an outdoor music venue. Plus, they have the Irish nachos. To be an official Downtowner, you must try the Irish nachos.

6. Main Post Office on East South Street -- It's my post office, and I like it. So there.

7. Old School Pizza and Suds -- It's my favorite pizza in Arlington. Plus, they have a pretty good beer selection. The layout is still a little awkward, but I'm okay with it.

8. Arlington Museum of Art -- The facility itself is great. The exhibits are hit or miss. When you just wander in and no one's there, it can feel a little awkward. Maybe I've been spoiled by art museums in Dallas and Fort Worth? I am excited about the Rembrandt etchings show. With a concerted effort from the city of Arlington, this museum could be a real treasure.

9. Hooligan's Pub -- Ask me again in a year, but I think this pub could be a nice "second option" if I'm wanting to bar hop. They have a great draught selection, and the place looks nice. It's still too new to tell if it'll be a cool hangout.

10. Babe's Chicken Dinner House -- All the new restaurants are "a little unconventional, just slightly below the label of novelty restaurant." (Yes, I'm quoting my own D Magazine story.) I like all of them, but Babe's is still the establishment getting the most attention.

11. Arlington Music Hall -- I'm embarrassed to say I haven't attended a show here, but I've been inside the venue and it's beautiful.

DOWNTOWN ARLINGTON, WHY?

I realize it wasn't too long ago that I railed against the Dallas Maverick's hideous website (click here), but I must say a few words about the new signature logo for Downtown Arlington. I found out about this monstrosity on D Magazine's Frontburner blog.

Cringe.

Why do I keep complaining about bad design? I will answer this question with an even more important question: Why must things be ugly? I'm not kidding. Why? We have plenty of graphic artists capable of making the world a little more beautiful, more thoughtful, and more balanced. Instead, Arlington has dumped untold amounts of money (UPDATE: According to Star-Telelgram: "the corporation spent about $30,000 on the logo and branding campaign") to revive the downtown--and they blew the most basic component. Get an appealing logo. Great logos are hard, but good logos aren't. I would be happy with "good."

Instead, we have something that looks like it was designed by a City Council member's teenage son. (That was April's assessment.) I don't know who the designer is, but they are merciful to keep the name(s) a secret.

The logo is not "fun." It's goofy. It's embarrassing and, yes, contrived.

I wrote about Downtown Arlington earlier this year in D Magazine (click here). My main point was that Arlington is trying really, really hard to be cool, and the city isn't quite there yet. When I saw this logo, I think Arlington took a few more steps back. And that's unfortunate, because there's a lot to brag about in downtown.

It's even more unfortunate when you consider that Advertising Age magazine honored (?) Arlington on its "Worst of Tourism Marketing" list for the slogan, "And the crowd goes wild." Arlington just cannot catch a break.

Arlington should heed the words of Cameron from the TV show MODERN FAMILY when he said, "You're not making the compelling case you think you are." So true.

Anyone else want to heap insults onto this logo? Feel free to post in the comments section.

MY REVIEW OF A MOVIE I HAVEN'T SEEN

I'll admit I give Rotten Tomatoes too much credit. Movie reviewers have probably come to loathe the site's existence. I may read a reviewer's overwrought and tedious evaluation of how "overwrought" and "tedious" the film is. But ultimately, I skip over to Rotten Tomatoes, see the 25% rating and avoid the film like the plague. I've replaced your wordy work with a number. Sorry. A review serves two purposes (1) to let me know if I should see the movie and (2) to give me further insight on the good and bad qualities of the work.

With the first purpose, Rotten Tomatoes wins hands down. I refuse to watch a bad movie. If it looks bad, why would I do that to myself? I have not seen Elektra (10%). I have not see Catwoman (10%). I did not see Frank Miller's The Spirit (14%). Why? Because they looked terrible and they were terrible. Sometimes a movie will trick me, and in those instances, I find it hard to forgive. I'm looking at you Spider-Man 3 (63%). For the most part, the Rotten Tomato method is simple and brutal.

With the second purpose, the reviewer is still king. If I really enjoyed the movie, I want to read something that agrees with me. "Yes! Roger Ebert, I also appreciated the third act of 50/50." Or if I hated the movie, I need someone to help me channel my rage. After I endured half of Sex & the City 2, I desperately searched the Internet for negative reviews. (There was no shortage of negative reviews.)

However, I still come back to that number. Rotten Tomatoes and I don't always agree. How did one of my all-time favorite movies, Royal Tenenbaums, get only 80%? And yet, a high rating also helps to build my sense of anticipation.

Avengers. Rotten Tomatoes gave it 97%. And my expectations are already sky high. Iron Man, Thor, Iron Man II, Captain America, and even Hulk all worked to set up this movie. All of those movies have been good-to-great. I have no reason to think Avengers will be any less than resplendent. My favorite all-time movie (yes, even moreso than Tenenbaums) is Seven Samurai, with a respectable 100% RT rating. Seven Samurai is the ideal "hero team-up" movie. A diverse group of warriors, with different motivations and temperaments, must learn to work together in order to survive and save the day. What's not to love? Heck, even Tenenbaums is a "team-up" movie of sorts. Now, Avengers offers a team-up dream for people who geek out on super heroes. Add to that, Joss Whedon as writer and director.

May 4th cannot come soon enough.

Here's my review of Avengers before I actually see it: It's awesome. The trailer doesn't even do it credit. Best Hulk ever. I laughed. I cried. I was on the edge of my seat for two hours and twenty-two minutes. Whedon will rule over Hollywood with power and grace. It will be the first superhero movie to get the Best Picture Oscar. Avengers will prevent the 2012 end of the world and bring about a new age of peace. Watching Avengers will have unexplainable magic healing properties. Mothers will bring their sick children to the movie and leave forever changed. Theaters will run Avengers nonstop for ten years. It will gross 3.3 trillion dollars in a week.

My expectations aren't too high, are they?

TAX DAY TUESDAY

Two things you should do sparingly: (1) complain about money and (2) complain about how busy you are. No matter how difficult things are, there's always someone worse off. You gripe about paying your mortgage, and someone else is swamped in credit card debt, living in a crowded studio apartment, wishing he or she could get approved for (or afford) a home loan. You talk about your job, and they're unemployed. It's difficult to avoid these conversations, because we love to complain and it's easy to complain about work. We assume everyone listening to us is in a similar situation. Thus, such complaints build solidarity. However, this is rarely the case. Friends will tolerate the occasional "venting," but when it becomes habit, they may start to complain about you.

Infographics like this make it hard to sympathize with wealthy people who complain about paying taxes. Also, it is hard to feel badly about my family's situation. April and I are doing okay. And nowadays, okay is good. We have a few financial challenges, but we'll get through it.

That being said, 2011 is the last year I do my own taxes. Once I start freelancing full time, I'm hiring a CPA. I've tried my best to keep up with the tax code. For several years, I used TurboTax and I even read the fine print. At the same time, I get all sorts of conflicting messages.

I listened to a Freelancers Union presentation from a CPA. He said to claim your home office, and went through all the details. Then I've heard others say whatever you do DON'T claim your home office. I've heard a lot of friendly wisdom on how to file taxes. I'm not the first person to figure out what percentage of my comic book purchases constitutes a "business expense." It's all a little overwhelming. Ultimately, I need one hired gun to be my expert.

I'm excited about my journey into freelancing, but I'm not deluded. I see a future of quarterly payments, saved receipts, QuickBooks, IRAs, and invoices.

I'm in a business, and this is part of business.

I pay taxes, because I believe in government services provided efficiently for the common good. I know, government can't solve everything--but I'm also not so cynical to believe that government can't solve anything. Transportation infrastructure, security and defense, scientific and medical research, public education, corrections, I'm okay with my money going to these things. I'm not complaining... too much.

GOOD STUFF I'M READING RIGHT NOW

On my Kobo...The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. April read it during her trip to China. Now I'm reading it. The sales do not lie. It's a very exciting, entertaining novel.

Audible... Supergods: What Masked Vigilantes, Miraculous Mutants, and a Sun God from Smallville Can Teach Us About Being Human by Grant Morrison (click here). Morrison is not only an incredible comic book writer, but he's also an incredible writer about comic books. His exploration of the superhero genre is profound and intimate.

Comic book... Infinite Kung Fu by Kagan McLeod. Fun, epic, and awesome. I'm dragging my feet towards the end, because I don't want to put it back on the shelf. Someone please borrow this book from me, so I can share it.

Print... "The Cheap Bastard's Ultimate Guide to Eating like a Total Cheap Bastard in Dallas" by Alice Laussade (Dallas Observer). You need to read the print-version of this story. For some reason, which is beyond me, the Dallas Observer cut the introduction from their online-version. Why?! Thus, I'm not sharing the link. Sorry. So, citizens of Dallas and surrounding areas, look for an Observer. We need more of this goodness.

Online... "Nobody Says I Love You Anymore" by Sarah Hepola (click here). This story is required reading for anyone who wants to write about his or her city, be it Dallas or somewhere else. The themes transcend. And Sarah is a damn good writer. I'll read anything she puts together.

Other... The Rumpus: Letters In The Mail (click here). I'm proud of my subscription. For $5 a month, I get a letter every week. Now there's always something interesting for me to read in my P.O. box.

D TEDX SMU DISD FYI

Last night, I attended an education forum hosted by D Magazine and TEDxSMU. And because this is my blog and you're not the boss of me, I'm going to share my thoughts from the evening. Bullet-point style. Everything is easier when you bullet-point. * My Jetta might lose its going-to-Dallas privileges. It's eleven years old, paid off, and convulses, stutters, shakes (and other unfortunate verbs) while I drive.

* The event was at the Kessler. This venue is a lot nicer than I suspected, and smaller. To explain would take more time than I have (bullet points!), but the Kessler is more public radio/VH1 friendly than the Granada or Majestic. Mature but somewhat hip.

* I met Krista Nightengale, editor at D Magazine. I introduced myself by saying, "I give you invoices!" I don't think I even gave her my name. Face, palm. I will always be a little awkward. If you transcribed what I sometimes say, you might confuse me with Ralph Wiggum. I sleep in a drawer.

* I sat down in the theater, near the front. I spot Tim Rogers across the room. Tim has more hair on his head than he lets on. (He often laments his receding hairline.) I'll be bald before him. Bastard.

* Dallas ISD Trustee candidate Elizabeth Jones gave me a campaign flier. I grabbed a pen and played "circle the cliche." I found "proven," "committed to excellence," "cutting edge," and "hands on." Four points. Well done, political candidate. I admire your proven track record, your commitment to excellence and hands on approach.

* Shiner beer is popular here.

* Tablets. (I don't know why I wrote "tablets" in my notepad. Maybe I noticed that they are no longer surprising to see. When I was younger, I saw a man talking on his cell phone while driving. I was impressed. Look at that! A cell phone! Tablets aren't as impressive as they used to be.)

* I have another page of random notes, nothing to do with the education forum. Let's skip that mess and get to the important stuff.

* Guests were handed a "grade the candidate" paper. The scores were compiled and posted on Frontburner. Click here.

* Format of the event: Each candidate will give a brief introduction (no stumping). They will draw a single question from the fish bowl and have three minutes to answer the question. Done. The event was organized to be very civil. Also, it gave citizens an opportunity to see how each candidate would respond to educational issues without a prepared statement.

* My method of scoring is inspired by Zac Crain. Numbers are so passé. Click here to read what they actually said.

* First up: Roland Love. Attorney. He was asked what could be done in the first six months to dramatically improve the DISD. He said he would review the administration for redundancy. (Is this code for fire people?) He wants to make everything more efficient to fix the greatest problem: shortage of funds. He wants top-notch principals. He didn't use the full three minute. If he had, I'd like to know what top-notch principals look like. His answer was boring, but valid. Score: Paint drying

* Jennifer Levy. She veered into her platform during the introduction. However, Moderator Tim was quick to redirect her. Well done. It took Levy a long time to eventually say "stay-at-home mom" for her occupation. Levy, it's okay. Be proud. I'll admit I zoned out on the question and answer. Something about helping teachings and "strong leaders," "front lines," and a "strong HR department," and "increased retention." (Aren't you glad I'm not giving the official report for Frontburner?) I just remembered she sounded very enthusiastic and kinda like she was running for Student Council. Score: Reese Witherspoon from Election

* Bernadette Nutall. Executive director of something (leave me alone). She was asked about charter schools. Like everyone else, she started with "Good question." Well, of course, they're good questions. D Magazine and TEDxSMU organized the event. Do you think we'd ask you about Lamar Odom? She suggested that the charter schools and public schools can work together. "We can learn from them." She emphasized the need for parents to have a choice. Nutall suggested that "LA has figured it out." Really? I never thought of Los Angeles as a model for education. I'm not being sarcastic. They might be. It just surprised me. Nutall believes we can learn from charter school's "best practices." Personally, I'm not a fan of charter schools. I'm wary of them as a sustainable model for educating large populations. But whatever. It was an answer. Score: Better than Damarcus Offord. Seriously, do not vote for Offord.

* Damarcus Offord. Oh man, where do I begin? He's a college student. Moderator Tim once again had to keep a candidate off his platform. "Easy, easy." Offord was asked a perfectly reasonable question about how to approach the increasing number of Hispanic and ESL (English as a second language) students in DISD. Even if you aren't running for a DISD position, most people have an opinion on this issue. Yes? He started by saying that all students need to educated. That is true by the very definition of "student." Then, he said that since he doesn't have access to all the information he cannot give an answer at this time. He completely, obviously side-stepped the question, then he sat down. Offord literally took less time than the time it took you to read what I just wrote about Damarcus Offord. He was also the first candidate to leave during the meet-and-greet afterward. I'm sure someday he'll be a valued community leader, but he's not quite ready to interact with adults. Score: Vote for Bernadette Nutall, district 9. I'm not kidding.

* Let's move on. I'm getting a headache.

* Michael Greenberg. In his introduction, Greenberg talked up the Kessler. Classy. He was asked if the trustees should have a code of conduct, which prevents them from criticizing board decisions in public. Greenberg disagreed with this policy. He cited the need for free speech and professional responsibility. He was the only person so far to actually impress me. He was poised and knowledgeable. Score: Spud Webb, 1986 slam dunk contest

* Bruce Parrott. He's wearing a lot of beige. Parrott was asked about getting businesses involved in our school district. Too much beige. He suggested that businesses can help with fundraising, support DISD's use of Teach for America, and beige. Business involvement is important, and DISD needs to dialogue with local businesses. Beige. Score: Beige

* Elizabeth Jones. Jones also impressed me. It's a shame she and Greenberg are running against each other. I would have a tough time choosing. District 1 is fortunate. She was asked about the challenge surrounding middle schools. She was familiar with the study cited in the question and gave a thorough response. She emphasized the need for better alignment. Jones clearly speaks "education" and is very well informed. Score: Longest answer!

* Dan Micciche. Tax and business attorney. He opened with a comment about needing a pronunciation guide for his last name. Humor. Very smooth, Micciche. His question was about Lamar Odom. Oh wait. No, it's about making cuts to athletic budgets. Micciche said we need to look at spending priorities, also to get businesses and non-profits involved. He said he wouldn't outright dismiss the idea, but that school is more than classes. I think the athletic budget is staying untouched. Score: Coach Eric Taylor

* Afterward, the candidates mingled with the guests and had a chance to answer any specific questions they might have.

* The event was short; this was a good thing. No one wants to listen to candidates ramble for two hours.

* I went with Tim Rogers and Michael Mooney to the Foundry. Three beers count as dinner, yes? We talked about the National Magazine Award and golf. Two writers from the Observer (Brantley Hargrove and Leslie Minora) also showed up. I do not mind listening to writers ramble for two hours. The next door chicken place closed at 9:30. I wandered over there at 9:29 and could not be helped.

WRITER GOES TO HELL

Last week, April and I went to a private screening of BAD KIDS GO TO HELL at the Angelika. I wrote about the experience and some of my thoughts on the movie for D Magazine's Front Row blog. Click here to read the story. BAD KIDS' five year journey from script to comic book to film is an interesting one. I’m saving that story for the June issue of D Magazine.

STAPLE RECAP

STAPLE! Expo, Austin's celebration of independent media, was this past weekend. Let me find a diplomatic way to say this: while the event is well-organized and thoroughly enjoyable, the economics don't add up. Every year the attendance is lower than I expect. STAPLE should grab comics fans from Austin, San Antonio, Houston, and even the more dedicated folk from Dallas and Fort Worth, but it often seems vendors outnumber attendees. And the people aren't in a spending mood (poor UT students saving their money for beer?). Blame the economy, but it wasn't just my table; this was a general consensus among the other comic creators I talked to. Is Austin suffering from "indie exhaustion?"

Sure, I sold some books -- but when you factor the cost of the table (reasonably priced), the hotel for two nights (group discount), gas ($3.59 a gallon), food, and the basic costs of getting your merchandise together -- it's hard to turn a profit. I will need to get more clever in the future to make it work: one night hotel stay, share the room, share a ride with someone, split a table, and keep the merchandise cheap.

The organizers need to double (triple?) the attendance. This might require some difficult choices. Change of venue? More big names? Creative funding? Free admission? Partnering with another organization? Website overhaul? Some promotion on popular blogs like The Beat and Robot 6? I didn't see any for 2012. It's hard to be too critical, because I don't know the solution and everyone has an opinion. Geographically, an indie comic book convention in Austin makes sense.

On the positive side, the weekend itself is a lot of fun. Uncle Staple is a great guy. Austin Books hosts a party on Friday night. On Saturday night, exhibitors were invited to Franklin BBQ for dinner. Afterward, there's the live art show. I always look forward to STAPLE, but I may need to adjust my expectations. Is this work or play?

Sundry observations:

Square App. Being able to accept credit cards made a huge difference. Huge.

Cats. Cats seem to be "a thing" right now. I saw a lot of cat prints, comics, and other related merchandise.

Best practices. The Houston Indie Book Festival might serve as a model.

Franklin BBQ. I had the ribs. They were really, really good.

Next year. As I wrote previously, I need to be smarter about how I manage this convention if I choose to attend again. Any advice from people who have been able to turn a profit at small shows?

IDW'S HUCKLEBERRY

I ordered a copy of IDW's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. The book arrived yesterday in the mail, and I'm greatly disappointed with this edition. IDW's Huck Finn lacks ambition and imagination. IDW had an opportunity to publish an American classic. Instead, it feels like a lackluster money grab, taking advantage of a popular book in the public domain.

First, I want to talk about the absence of ambition. Eric Powell illustrated this Huck Finn, barely. I counted 21 interior illustrations. A 275 page novel, 43 chapters, and there's only 21 illustrations? For comparison, one of the earliest editions of Huck Finn features 174 illustrations. Eric Powell must be a busy person, but I would expect at least one illustration per chapter. After all, IDW is primarily a comic book publisher. It's surprising to see such a publisher use art so sparingly. Also, no serious design efforts were made with the interior. They copy-and-pasted the Word document with little thought to what was possible. The first letter of the each chapter is enlarged more out of tired obligation. Forget the wonderful tradition of finely designed dropped capitals. I will give them this, the text is clean and readable. (Additionally, I'm a little disappointed they omitted the chapter titles, but they aren't the first publisher to do this.)

Second, Huck Finn is a tremendous adventure story, highly imaginative. It's a shame IDW and Eric Powell weren't able to keep pace with Mark Twain. With the illustrations, Huck's face is often hidden from the reader. He is shrouded in shadows or completely in silhouette, sometimes his back is to reader or the image is from Huck's point of view. If this is a conscious artistic choice, it is the wrong one. Mark Twain shows us Huck on every page -- his thoughts, his voice, his life. To hide our protagonist is, at best, a failed gimmick and, at worst, it attempts to undermine Twain's efforts. The Duke and King earn Powell's attention more than Jim. We have one illustration of an uncharacteristically stoic Jim (has Powell read the book?) on his knees and then Jim fleeing from gunshots with Huck and Tom. There are so many opportunities to humanize both Huck and Jim. Powell avoids humanity and opts for the most bland approach. Some of these illustrations are "phoning it in" -- a pocket knife on page 6, Pap's boot print on page 21, close up of the axe on page 38, and the fish skeleton on the last page.

Eric Powell is a great artist. Unfortunately, we get so little from him. It's not fair to blame Powell though. He's the hired gun. IDW's HUCK FINN ultimately fails, because the editors Justin Eisinger and Alonzo Simon didn't ask for more.

And Huck deserves better.

TSA TARGETING WOMEN

Here's a news story worth reading by CBS DFW on the issue of TSA targeting women for full-body scans. I'm posting a somewhat biased sampling of the comments. However, if you click on the link, the comments section is worth reading in its entirety.

"I am chosen every single time without fail. It doesn’t matter what I wear, how much, how little, how dull or provocative, how I wear my hair, how 'blendy' I try to be, I am ALWAYS chosen, and ALWAYS by a male. And 95% of the time, the male TSA agent SNEERS at me when I opt out of the scanner. They give me the worst face possible every single time. Then I’m treated like garbage for the rest of the entire process, and there’s no question they’re crude to you and make the pat-downs worse on purpose to punish those who don’t just do whatever they want. I’m so sick of airports, I can’t stand being treated like trash, a criminal." -- Ituri

"I, too am ALWAYS 'randomly' selected for the sexual assault. I always travel with the big, burly hubby who is NEVER selected. The consensus from friends and family is that I’m selected for the size of my breasts. I totally agree but I refuse to reduce what God gave me just so I won’t have to be harassed by these useless perverts. No flying for me anymore!" -- Kim

"The TSA is a JOKE. Biggest waste of an agency there is, period." -- Joey

"Anyone can see that a process by which male screeners get to pick and choose which women and teenage girls go though a machine that shows the victim’s naked body to the man’s buddies in the back room will be abused. It defies explanation how TSA could have instituted such a sexually exploitative procedure. TSA set us up to be victimized and harassed. TSA, get your filthy hands out of our pants and stop creating nude images of our bodies!" -- Sommer

Sam says:

"tsa is doing an excellent job not one plane has gone down do to terrorist activities. bad guys won’t even try…thats how good tsa is.. lets all be real tsa is here to stay why even fight it? private companies will never take over."

And I love this response by Jayce:

"I have this magic rock, and it prevents tiger attacks. Since I started carrying this rock 20 years ago, I have not been attacked by a tiger, not once! Would you like to buy my rock? Its only $1,000. You can avoid tiger attacks, as well!"

From Bill Fisher:

"Anyone who travels a lot sees how TSA targets younger, attractive women. This has been going on over a year and often the passenger doesn’t realize she is part of the TSA screeners entertainment. I’ve seen them single out young girls just so the males can watch her get a groping pat down.

This is the abuse you get when you have a corrupt unaccountable agency whose workers think they are above the law.

In 2011 there were 62 TSA screeners arrested for serious crimes, including rape and murder. Of these, 11 were for sex crimes involving children and 4 for smuggling contraband through security There have been 4 arrested in the first month of 2012 and TSA is on pace to for another 60 crimes this year.

TSA hiring standards state that the worker may not have had a criminal conviction in the past ten years but exclude juvenile convictions when the applicant becomes 18 even if the conviction is less than a year old. Often, those caught in these crimes are found to have recent criminal arrests that weren’t discovered in the hiring process. Consequently, many TSA workers have criminal histories but we’re supposed to trust them with airline security and control of our belongings"

MY FRIENDS VS. KEVIN SMITH'S FRIENDS

Kevin Smith. What the hell. Sometimes, you strike gold -- and other times, you, kinda, I, don't, just, what the hell. Your comic book store reality show Comic Book Men is a good idea, but like many good ideas, it's not all that original. And your execution falls short. As Ron Marz so aptly tweeted: "Comic Book Men" seemed to be scenes of guys standing around talking, intercut with scenes of guys sitting around talking. I would like to substitute this AMC reality show with a web-based scripted series, The Variants. Yes, I'm saying it: My friends at Zeus are superior to your friends at Secret Stash.

On day one, I watched Variants to support Richard, Barry, Keli, and Ken. However, after the first episode, I knew it was good -- and it only gets better. Certain truths emerge from this scripted series that are woefully absent from your reality. Variants is witty, worth multiple viewings to catch some of the wordplay you may miss on the first pass. The guest appearances of Scott Kurtz, Dave Crosland, Ben Templesmith, Joe Eisma, Brent Peeples, James O'Barr, and Mark Waid are genius. The satire is nuanced. By season two, the comedic timing of this ensemble cast finds its rhythm and is perfectly in sync.

Yes, I'm biased, but so are you. What my friends did with a shoestring budget and a YouTube account far exceeds what you attempted with AMC and the good faith of your long-suffering fans. Variants reflects the actual diversity found within the comic book industry, unlike your cringe-inducing TV show. As mentioned in The Beat, regarding Comic Book Men: "For anyone who has never been in a comics shop, the Land of the Misfit Boys portrayal will just reinforce every stereotype they ever had." Is that really how AMC views the comic book industry? Is that how YOU see it? My advice: Spend some time with my friends. Season three is coming soon.

I HAVE SKILLS... MARKETABLE SKILLS.

Yesterday, I updated my LinkedIn account. The site told me I was only 90% complete. Since I would hate to go through life being only 90% complete, I decided something needed to be done. LinkedIn said if I added "specialties" they would give me 5%. (If I get a third recommendation, that's another 5% and I'm ready to party.) LinkedIn is a mysterious creature. First, I'm not a fan of the merged words like "MySpace". That mid-word capitalization drives me crazy. "Facebook" is okay, because the potentially rebellious "b" stays submissive. Second, the navigation on this site is odd. It's an unnaturally text heavy site. Third, I don't know what to do with LinkedIn. I accept connection requests from people I know, and that's about it. LinkedIn must be worthwhile. Somebody somewhere told me it was. If potential clients use it to stalk me, then I want to look good.

Back to specialties. I resisted the urge to go all Napoleon Dynamite and talk about my nunchuk skills, bow hunting skills, and computer hacking skills. (Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.) Instead, I opted for "human interest, variety and alternative entertainment, geek/pop culture, nonprofits, web content esp. Word Press 3.0+"

Human interest -- Is this the journalism equivalent of saying "I have people skills?" Call me on this one if it's a goofy specialty to put on LinkedIn. However, yes, I think I'm good at writing about people. I love talking with someone and learning all about them. I got Tammi True to talk about some extremely personal stuff after she had sworn off all media contact decades ago. Let's call that a skill.

Variety and alternative entertainment -- This might need an explanation. I've written about burlesque, and I'm currently researching renaissance faires. Both of these things are a type of variety entertainment, pulling from the tradition of sideshows and vaudeville. I would enjoy writing more about stand-up comedians, guerilla theater troupes, flash mobs, street performers, half time entertainers, freak shows, acrobats, contemporary circus, jugglers, caricaturists, puppeteers, drag queens, ventriloquists, rodeos, magicians, fortune tellers, dare devils, unicyclists, stilt walkers, mall santas, living statues, clowns, mimes, and fire dancers. TV, film, literature and music are pretty well covered by the media. I'd be happy to make this one of my beats. Consider it a skill in the making.

Geek/pop culture -- How many times did I watch the Avengers trailer? My collection of Fantastic Four comics alone should give me sufficient geek cred. You want to talk Star Wars, LOST, Lord of the Rings, D&D, or Harry Potter? Bring it. I'm best with indie/small press comics, but no need to get so specific on LinkedIn.

Nonprofits -- Throughout college, I worked as program director for the Wesleyan Campus Ministry. I served on the advisory board for La Reunion, and I even tried to put together my own nonprofit. It wasn't a rousing success, but I read a lot and learned a lot. I would say I know more about 501(c)3s than the average person, so let's add this as a specialty.

Web content esp. Word Press 3.0+ -- You can call "foul". I'll admit that saying I specialize in word Press is kinda like saying I specialize in P.O. Boxes. Having one doesn't necessarily make me an expert. Yet, if a client needs me to use Word Press, I'm fearless.

Here's my LinkedIn profile. I'm open to any suggestions for making myself more appealing to corporate stalkers.

SOLIDARITY IN THE FIGHT AGAINST A WORD

In 2008, Tim Rogers posted a commentary on why the word "metroplex" needs to die. More recently, there's been debate on Twitter ("dork fight") between Tim and Texas Monthly editor Jake Silverstein about the m-word. With respect to Silverstein and his wonderful publication (call me), I agree with Tim. It's an awkward and unnecessary word. Worst of all, it sounds dated. I imagine Charles Eames using it for one of his corporate promotional videos: "Come to where the fun is. Come to the... METROPLEX!"

As a sign of solidarity, I've gone through my blog -- and I've assassinated the word wherever it appears. Out of 1,210 posts, I only used the word twice. Ironically, I've used the word twice in this very post. Maybe I didn't assassinate the word; I relocated it. I quarantined the word. Here. Where I can keep a close watch over it.

For most citizens of the greater Dallas Forth Worth area, it's a goofy discussion. However, as a person who owns the most recent edition of the Associated Press Stylebook, as a person who downloaded a dictionary flashcard app for fun, I care about words. I like how certain words sound. I have favorite words. I view adverbs with suspicious glances and believe transitive verbs kick ass. I'd probably blog more if I didn't waste so much time trying to eliminate unnecessary instances of the word "that". I still don't like using "blog" as a verb. And I refuse to acknowledge "vlog" even exists. "Tweet" is growing on me. But the m-word needs to go.

BECAUSE WIRED SAID SO

I finally bought an eReader. Not the Kindle or Nook, I went with Kobo. Why? In the January 2012 issue of WIRED (p.45), Tim Carmody rated the Kobo Touch as best among the digital ink tablets. The dude knows his stuff. I agree with his assessment that the world is big enough for both eReaders and full-fledged tablets. If I want a larger screen for Angry Birds, then I'll buy an iPad. What I want from Kobo is a handy device to ease the burden on my strained book shelves. I love paper too, but not everything needs to be bound printed material. Kobo is intuitive with a highly responsive touch screen. With other eReaders I looked at, there was always a moment when I got lost in the navigation. Whereas with Kobo, I didn't have this problem. I like that the Kobo syncs with other devices (computer, smart phone, etc). So, if for some reason I'm away from my eReader, I can still access my books. I also think the "Reading Life" program is cool. I can earn badges for reading. Shut up. It's cool.

The only drawback? The "over 2.5 million books, newspapers and magazines" is a bit misleading. It's more like "over 2.499999 million books plus 20 newspapers and 12 magazines." I'd love to read the New Yorker or Atlantic (and D!) on Kobo. Hopefully, they'll be onboard eventually. The New York Times is available, but I just can't justify $19.99 a month for it. That's $240 a year. Still, it's only slightly more expensive than a monthly subscription to the Dallas Morning News. I might try out the two week free trial.

HUNGRY AND WIRED

We need a word to describe the vicious cycle where a consumer fixates on a piece of technology (or other cool new whatever) by stalking it online. After watching all the demo videos, he eventually cannot contain himself and must buy it. Then the consumer integrates the technology into his daily life and starts stalking something else online. The verb should be "galactize" -- taken from Galactus, devourer of worlds. Right now, I'm galactizing the Kobo Touch. Feel free to use the word in your daily conversations.

----- In keeping with "tech hunger," April sent this particular THIS AMERICAN LIFE story to me.Mr. Daisey and the Apple Factory (well worth a listen)