LUNCH WITH THE DOCTOR

SPOILERS. You've been warned. Now that I'm a full-time freelance writer, lunchtime means Doctor Who! I've been working my way through the Doctor Who (2005) TV series. I heat up some leftovers and sit down for a single episode--relax, enjoy, and then I get back to work. I'm hooked, call me a fan. Much thanks to Paul Milligan who has been pushing the BBC franchise and explaining decades worth of continuity.

I'm still about six seasons behind, but here's an observation for the fans...

You know that scene in "The Parting of the Ways" (season 1, episode 13) where the Doctor rushes into the TARDIS with Rose Tyler, convincing her they can travel back in time a few days and work on the D-wave to destroy the invading Daleks. He then rushes back outside and sends her home. Remember that scene? To me, it felt like when you pretend to play catch with your dog. You make the throwing motion, the dog goes running, and you walk off in the other direction. Rose is a great companion, a time lord's best friend, and a little too earnest. Of course, then she goes all "Dark Phoenix" on the Daleks, and it seems like you planned it that way all along.

MY COKE ADDICTION

I want to write a story about my history with Coca-Cola--something for a health/wellness hippy magazine. How does someone get to the point where they consumer six to ten cokes a day without even thinking twice about it... for over two decades? I've tried on and off to "cut down" but it wasn't until I decided to quit the habit entirely that I started having some success. In the name of full disclosure: Somedays, I will have a Coke Zero. However, I'm quitting that too.

I now drink a lot of tea. My favorite is this one: Sweet Leaf Tea Lemon & Lime Unsweet. Available at Whole Foods, made in Austin.

This story has drama, comedy, romance, horror, and a triumph of the human spirit (orchestral score by John Williams). Hippy magazine editors, be ready for me.

SHORT STORY FOR SEPTEMBER 2012

A new month and a new short story. I wrote this one with a deep respect for Oxford American magazine and a fondness for small Texas towns. I might submit it to OA for publication, if they don't mind that a few of you read it "via email" first. Thank you to all my subscribers for your patronage. Not a member? For only $10, you too can join the fun. Here’s a preview of this month’s story:

"Escaping Venus Texas" by David Hopkins

Eileen always thought the rats would eat the cockroaches—or that the presence of cockroaches would indicate an absence of rats. Imagine her displeasure when both proliferated and partnered together. During the year she lived with Chad, the cockroaches appeared on the walls, the floor and the ceiling. Eileen used Glamour with Reese Witherspoon on the cover. The Happy Issue. She rolled the magazine into a baton. An optimistic headline faced outward: “301 things to put you in a good mood fast.” 1… 2… 3… she crushed three cockroaches that evening. But it was the appearance of the rat that made her decide to leave Chad.

The rat was in the kitchen. The rat did not scurry when it saw Eileen. It was not afraid of Eileen. This bothered her.

“Go!” She waved her arms above her head. “Get out of here!”

The rat turned toward Eileen and sniffed the air. The gesture said, “Make me.”

“You are such an asshole.” She threw an oven mitt towards the rodent with little effect.

“An oven mitt?” The rat looked away, almost bored. “See how not scared I am?”

Eileen hurried in short quick steps to the closet. She grabbed the broom. Yes, comically predicable, but what else are you going to use against a rat? The broom allowed a degree of distance with her attack. When she returned to the kitchen, the rat was gone. This was much worse.

“I could be anywhere,” the rat teased.

At this moment, Eileen knew she had to leave her boyfriend as soon as possible. “Tomorrow,” she said to no one. “I’ll leave tomorrow.”

The rat was not to blame for Chad, and Chad was not to blame for the rat. The two existed, and Eileen realized she had a choice. She did not have to live here. She did not have to live in Venus, Texas.

Would you like to read the rest? You should subscribe. I’ll send you this short story (available in pdf, epub, and mobi formats), the stories from June, July, and August, plus a new story every month for the next six months. All artwork/photography by April Hopkins.

COMICS? I STILL WRITE COMICS.

Since going over the cliff as a full-time freelance writer, I haven't had as much time to devote to comics. If Quick still existed, I would definitely continue WE'VE NEVER MET (read the saga on my published works page, scroll down). However, beyond that, I've needed to focus my work on words without pictures. That doesn't mean I'm not still thinking longingly about comics. I just have to be a little more patient and strategic about the comic book projects I take on. Here's one: Brent Schoonover and I put together a story called PETITION TO THE GODS. Brent included a sneak peek on his beautifully re-designed website. Take a look: http://brentschoonover.com/work/petition-to-the-gods/ It's about as dark a story as you're ever going to read. You might not imagine it coming from me since I can't stomach most horror films. Who knew I had it in me?

If you're a publisher and you're reading this, and you're not a wimp, you should publish PETITION TO THE GODS. Hey there. Wink. http://brentschoonover.com/work/petition-to-the-gods/

This story takes place in Venus, Texas. The September short story (coming soon) also takes place in Venus. It might be my favorite small town.

THE SPORTSWRITER

I contributed an article to the Mavs Fast Break blog as part of their "Fan's Voice" series. I'm happy they included my optimistic rambling about the upcoming season.

Regarding the Fan's Voice articles: "A selected few will be featured on www.mavs.com and entered in for a chance to cover practice or even a game." I would truly, truly love a chance to play sportswriter for a day. If you visit the site, I could use your likes, shares, and comments. Thanks.

Continue Reading…

"Prizes are wonderful. They sell your books, they get you invited to places you would never be invited. I would never give mine back. But I know them fundamentally for what they are. They're just today's applause. They have no bearing on whether a piece of art or an artist will exist into the future. I'm more preoccupied with that. And I think that preoccupation frees your art in lots of ways." -- Junot Diaz

THE LAST WASTELAND OF ARLINGTON

"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead." -- Mark Twain

The September issue of D Magazine is available. Buy a copy for yourself and a few more for the special people in your life. I wrote a short piece The Last Wasteland of Arlington for the Talk section. It's about the Viridian community development in North Arlington. My wife suggested the story to me. She drives past Viridian everyday when returning home from work. "You know that's a landfill across the street." "Really?" "Does it smell?" "Oh yeah." And so the conversation went. I talked with Al Linley, Chief Operating Officer, on the phone. And then, I met with Elvio Bruni, Senior Vice President, who gave me a tour of the site. Both presented a compelling case for how Viridian would succeed where other projects in that area had failed. They did not dodge the issues, and they spoke directly about the solutions. Huffines Communities is big enough and smart enough to make this thing work. They're working closely with the city, and they have a solid long-term plan for growing the community. But it's still a housing development across the street from a landfill and along the Trinity River. If I had the money (which I don't), I would get a house elsewhere. However, I've always looked at older, more established neighborhoods over the new developments. I like that Viridian is taking a balanced, mixed-use approach: retail and housing, development and preservation/conservation of natural wildlife, varied housing styles and price levels.

I delivered the story to Tim Rogers (this guy) at 472 words. He wanted me to add to and re-arrange aspects of the story, which brought it to 685 words, and then I cut it down to 437 words. Tim emailed me an edited version that came to 418 words. And then, when I read the final print version, I noticed a few more things were added.

Word counts interest me.

Sometimes I'll get a lot of this back and forth. Other times, I'll send it off and never see it again until it's in print. Either way, I'm thankful to have an editor. I learn something every time, and I become a better writer as a result. Occasionally, I have moments where I realize I'm not completely off base. When I first wrote the story, I had a favorite sentence in the first paragraph. It was my editor's favorite part too, and he moved it to the last sentence in the story. I'm most encouraged by these sort of "we're-on-the-same-page" moments--small victories that keep me writing. He points out an area of the story that's unclear, and I immediately see what he's talking about.

It's one thing to be a good writer. (I was a good writer in high school and college, compared to my peers.) It's another thing to contribute to a magazine filled with these incredible award-winning writers. "Good" doesn't seem good enough. I keep writing and writing, hoping that I can get just a little bit better.

This blog post is longer than the actual story (once again, read it here). It takes longer to write less.

THE WISDOM OF SIX GREAT MOVIES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

I hate love stories for the same reason that I hate poetry and theater. In that, I really LOVE poetry and theater, but I've seen so many pedestrian displays that I just want people to leave it alone. I would rather have no poetry than bad poetry. My standard is impossibly high. (I've taught over a thousand students in twelve years. I had ONE good poet. Sorry to any of the "999" reading this. Um, you're young; you'll get better?) And I love love stories. A good love story makes sense of a world that is often cynical and filled with catastrophe. However, the movie industry has abused the genre, transforming it into demographic pandering, i.e. add a bit of romance to get the ladies interested in this film. Coincidentally, most love stories feature a woman who deserves better but settles for a lesser man, and this is exactly what happens with the movie industry. We're settling for a bunch of crap stories. They reveal no greater truth. The plot crawls on the merit of eye-rolling misunderstandings and grand gestures. As a favor to the movie industry, I'd like to share my list of SIX GREAT MOVIES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS. You probably already know these movies are great, because my readers are smart and classy. It's everyone else we need to convert. To the list...

6. RUBY SPARKS (trailer) -- For a silly premise, this one is surprisingly deep. A gifted writer creates the great love of his life by typing her into existence. Like all great creations, Ruby moves beyond his control. Without spoiling anything, the third act is disturbing. However, the movie will not disappoint. Kudos to Zoe Kazan for great writing and great acting. Fiction turns into a metaphor for the fictions and expectations bring to our own relationships.

Nugget of wisdom: You can't control or manipulate the people you love. They have to have their own life.

5. (500) DAYS OF SUMMER (trailer) -- Not technically a love story, but it is. And it's not. The film is so honest about one of the most overlooked realities: sometimes, people don't feel the same way. This film plays off the audience's expectation of the genre to stunning effect. The "You Make My Dreams Come True" dance sequence is marvelous. Plus: Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He does not make bad movies.

Nugget of wisdom: We bring our myths about love with us.

4. AWAY WE GO (trailer) -- I've confessed this before, but I cried when I first watched the trailer. Tears and everything. How this movie (written by Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida, directed by Sam Mendes) flew under the radar in 2009 is beyond me. It's a great film. A couple, long-term and committed but unmarried, take a journey to find a new home before their child is born. The trip is an exploration into the world of relationships. Each stop reveals a new dimension of long-term monogamy: the challenges, the tragedies, and the happiness. The film is heavy with meaning without being mean-spirited. The film, in some respects, is the opposite of a romantic comedy, while still being loving and humorous.

Nugget of wisdom: A long-term commitment (and/or marriage) is incredibly hard, and comes with a lot of baggage, but the journey is worth it.

3. LOVE ACTUALLY (trailer) -- I might get some crap about this one. AWAY WE GO is the anti-romcom; LOVE ACTUALLY is essentially every romcom trope thrown into a single film. I'll admit it's very saccharin. And lately, the LOVE ACTUALLY structure has been mercilessly scavenged by Hollywood. However, when this film debuted, it was something special. It's an anthology of interconnected short stories. The Emma Thompson/Alan Rickman story is the most heartbreaking. The Laura Linney story is the most poignant. The Bill Nighy story is most surprising (in a good way). The Colin Firth story has the best payoff. You know the scene. And I learned that "table" is the same in England and in the U.S.

Nugget of wisdom: Love is all around. They literally spell out the theme on the screen. Who am I to improve on it?

2. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (trailer) -- Joel attempts to have a bad relationship erased from his memory, then meets her again--unaware of their previous encounter. This movie has my favorite last line, but I won't spoil it. Okay? The final conversation between Joel and Clementine says so much about the transitions in relationships, the early electricity to the deeper acceptance of people, including their faults. The final image is haunting. This Michel Gondry/Charlie Kaufman collaboration is offbeat, and I would expect no less. You get a real glimpse at the life cycle of this self-destructive couple. His desire is tangible, to recover from the pain and hold on to the better moments.

Nugget of wisdom: We take the bitter with the sweet.

1. ANNIE HALL (trailer) -- I'll sneak one in that wasn't made in the past ten years. Alvy Singer is too neurotic to make any relationship last, and yet he continues to jump headlong into them. This one takes all the "nuggets" and places them into one flawless Woody Allen film. It's one of my favorite movies. It's one of April's favorite movies too. I took this as a sign that the universe wanted us together. Some people cringe at Woody Allen films. They aren't romantic; they're honest in their own way and uniquely melancholy.

Nugget of wisdom: Relationships can be totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, but we need them.

Any relationship movies you would recommend? Post in the comments.

HEY ZAKARIA

Fareed Zakaria, well-known Newsweek/Time columnist and CNN host, committed the unforgivable sin among writers. He plagiarized. I read about it on Mediabistro this morning. The story was also reported on Newsbusters and, of course, the Atlantic Wire. All three links include samples of the plagiarism.

What really shocked me was how many people in the comments section (I know, I should never read the comments section... unless it's my own site. You guys are smart.) said that it wasn't technically plagiarism.

Yes. It. Was.

Here's my response on Mediabistro: "This is plagiarism, pure and simple, by definition. Zakaria went through the original text and changed the wording of each sentence. He did not write an original article. He copied and re-worded. You do not deserve to write for TIME Magazine with that sort of practice. He should lose his job. Any writers on Mediabistro who defend him should seriously question their own professional ethics. If you think this is okay, you should find another line of work. Writers do not steal from other writers. Never, ever. You cannot assert your own definition of plagiarism as a way to justify your actions." Yes, I just quoted myself on the issue plagiarism. Did that blow your mind?

After reading over my comment again, I admit I sound like an angry blogger. In fact, my fists are clinched as I type this. (It's tricky.) Real writers don't plagiarize! If some idiot college kid swipes an essay off the Internet, it's bad but understandable. I understand he's an idiot. Dogs eat their own vomit. And stupid people steal essays off the Internet. However, a writer places his/her entire reputation upon the originality of his/her own work.

And Zakaria, you stole from the New Yorker?! You realize that people read the New Yorker. It's kind of a thing.

I could rant some more, but it would get repetitive. So I'll end with a link to a good explanation of plagiarism for those who are confused on the issue.

UPDATE: "Newsroom responses to Zakaria plagiarism reveal lack of consistency, transparency" by Craig Silverman, Poynter

DALLAS SYMPHONY: WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS

Let's start with the disclaimer. I like the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. I do. I wish them the best, and I hope they continue to be a strong presence in the Dallas arts and music scene. But stop calling me.

About two years ago, I took April to the symphony for Valentine's Day. We purchased nice seats and had a good time. To buy the tickets online, I gave them my contact information. Later, I received a call from one of their volunteers. Donate $50? Sure why not. I like the Dallas Symphony (see first paragraph). They wanted more money, but that's all I could part with at the time. And then the phone calls began.

I was getting calls throughout the year. I had to save their number, so I knew not to answer it. Then they started calling from different numbers. Tricky. After my intial donation, I turned them down numerous times. "Sorry, dude. I don't have any money to give." That rarely worked though, because they'd keep at it during the call. The callers were far too insistent. Clearly, I have SOME money I can give. My regular donations to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and the American Heart Association do not incur the same sort of obsessive hounding that $50 to the DSO invited.

After a particularly annoying phone call: "No, I don't have any money." "No, thank you." "No, really." "Please, I'm hanging up now." "Okay, seriously, bye." I decided life was too short to live in fear of phone calls. On July 19th, I wrote an email to the Dallas Symphany Orhcestra's customer serivce: Stop calling me. I gave them my phone number, and they assured me "we have removed your phone number from our list." Less than a month later, I received two more phone calls. Today, I emailed again to remind them that I'm off their list.

If I knew this was going to happen, I never would have donated money to DSO in the first place. Now I'm afraid to buy tickets to another DSO event, because I worry it will start the cycle all over again.

Dallas Symphony needs to raise money to do awesome stuff. I understand how it all works. And if I remember Non-Profit Fundraising 101, phone calls are fairly effective. It worked on me... once. But you don't want to gain a buck and lose a supporter.

My advice to Dallas Symphony Orchestra: Be cool. Slow your roll.

I realize the rejection hurts, but we can still be friends. And maybe if you respect my boundaries, and take "no" for an answer, maybe someday, I'll donate again. However, at this moment, I feel like we have some trust issues to work through. There will be other donors, other people in your life who will give you what you need, and make you happy. But right now, I'm just not in a place to be that person for you. I'm sorry.

SHORT STORY FOR AUGUST 2012

The Short Story of the Month Club ventures into its third month. This time, I'm dabbling with parody and writing about comic book conventions. We have 128 subscribers. For only $10, you can join the fun. Here’s a preview of this month’s story:

"Lolito" by David Hopkins

Lolito, bane of my existence, pain in my ass. My sin, my suffering. Lo-lee-toe: the tip of the spine shudders taking a trip of three vertebrae downward to tap, at three. Lo. Lee. Toe.

He was Toe, plain Toe, at the live art show, standing five feet ten in combat boots. He was Toto in his oversized Kevin-Smith jean shorts. He was Lee at school. He was Lorenzo on the dotted line. But at my booth, at every damn comic book convention, he was always Lolito.

As Vladimir Nabokov once wrote, “You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.”

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what all geeks and nerds, the misinformed, simple and noble, envied: I had my own booth to sell my comics. I had a base of operations.

He invaded that base on a continual basis.

“Hey John Johnnson.”

Lolito stood over me at the small press expo in Columbus, Ohio. I sat at my table, four feet of space to sell my comics, prints, and commissioned artwork. Lolito’s skinny frame blocked a portion of table from other would-be customers. In his hands, he held a clear plastic dish of nacho chips with warm jelly-like cheese poured over it. He dug around, for what I guess was the perfect corn chip, his fingers covered in cheese. He shoved the chip in his mouth. He then sucked the remaining mess from his twig fingers, but did not adequately remove all cheese. It was noxious behavior, appropriate not even for a child. Lolito was no child. He was in his late twenties and, I assume, my most massive devotee.

I hadn’t published anything new in a decade, nineteen years. Next year, I will have to say I haven’t published anything new in decades. Plural. It’s demoralizing.

In the early ‘90s, I wrote and illustrated a creator-owned comic book called METRO CITY WAR. The story focuses on a cyborg named Othello who was part of an elite security squad. His girlfriend is killed. He believes it was the mayor of Metro City, and—

“So, whatcha workin’ on?” Lolito wipes his hand on his jean shorts.

“Oh, nothing.” I raised my hands to unveil a Shadowcat of the X-Men sketch I promised to a ten-year-old girl. The girl was not familiar with my opus, but noticed I charged for commissions. Her dad tried to haggle the price down from $20. I offered to do the piece for $15. “Shadowcat.”

“Cool.” Lolito places his plastic dish on top of my stack of prints. “So, uh, whenever you’re done, can you draw something for me?”

“What do you want?” I asked, but I already knew the answer. My character Desdemona, the dead girlfriend of Othello, was the real hit of my comic tragedy. People did not purchase METRO CITY WAR for the epic struggle of a lone robot-man against the tyrannical forces of a dystopian city-state. They bought the comic for Desdemona. She had dark red hair, breasts like watermelons that began at her collarbone and hung to almost her bare belly. Her waist was so small; you could wrap your hands around it. She wore an impossible outfit. Black electrical tape crossed her body in the form of intersecting lighting bolts. In the story, she was the model of purity and fidelity. She looked like a prostitute.

Would you like to read the rest? You should subscribe. I’ll send you this short story (available in pdf, epub, and mobi formats), the stories from June and July, plus a new story every month for the next seven months. All artwork by April Hopkins.

NEWS AND GOODS

Every night, when my family eats dinner, we play "news and goods." We go around the table to share what happened that day and what we're happy about. Here's my news and goods for Friday: * I just submitted a feature story to Arlington Magazine about homebrewing. I also wrote a profile on J.R. Bentley's for the fledgling publication. The two pieces will appear in the September/October issue.

* Tomorrow, I will have a booth at Strip: The Dallas Webcomics Expo. It takes place at the Southfork Hotel in Plano. I'll be selling copies of ASTRONAUT DAD: THE COMPLETE EDITION and taking subscriptions for the SHORT STORY OF THE MONTH CLUB. (I think) I'm participating in a panel on "Print Media With the Pros" at 1:30 PM.

* Also tomorrow, starting at 4 PM, Lakewood Brewing Company (owned and operated by my friend Wim) will celebrate its "first tapping" at Goodfriend Beer Garden & Burger House. They will release two beers: Hop Trapp, a Belgian-style IPA, and Rock Ryder, an American Rye Wheat. I've had both, or earlier non-commercial scale versions of these beers, and both are very, very good.

* Upcoming stories for D Magazine? I have two. Right now, I'm working on a profile for the October issue. Since it's not finished, I won't announce anything yet, but it's "geek culture" related.

* The other story? I finished it a week ago. It's a concise 400-word piece about the Viridian housing development in North Arlington.

* The August short story "Lolito" should be available soon to all subscribers. I need to write the ending and edit. April is working on the front page artwork, and it looks great.

That's it for me. Do you have any "news and goods?" Feel free to share in the comments section.

FRANK MILLER'S DARK KNIGHT RETURNS

I originally found this trailer on Big Fanboy. DC always does an amazing job with their animated films (New Frontier, Wonder Woman, All-Star Superman, Batman: Year One). I'm looking forward to their treatment of Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns.

NO ONE IS HAPPY

Can we all agree that no one is happy? Chick-Fil-A certainly does not want this kind of publicity. Even if people are showing up in droves to support them, it's just not the attention a company wants. They want to talk about their chicken sandwiches and that one mysterious pickle slice. Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders are not happy. It's another scary reminder that an entire network of organizations exist in this country committed to keeping them repressed, spreading lies and fear, actively denying rights that are available to anyone else. Christians can't be too happy either--those who feel that gays are "shoving it in their face" (more on that later), threatening their beliefs, and those who feel misrepresented by the anti-gay faction in the church. I read on D Magazine's Frontburner blog yesterday this comment by Edward: "What happened to the Christianity that I grew up with? I mean, as Baptists we weren’t particularly fond of the Catholics (they drank liquor!), but all-in-all we learned about loving people and spent our money on helping out poor people in America and overseas." Christians, that comment can't make you happy, can it?

I've read Facebook. No one is happy about the situation.

Here are some thoughts on the matter.

1. It's more than just the thoughts and free speech of one person. The CEO of Chick-Fil-A said "we." He is speaking on behalf of the entire company. It's also not just what he said, but where their money is going. For example, they support the Family Research Council. That organization is pretty messed up. Among other things, they spent $25,000 to lobby Congress AGAINST condemning Uganda's "kill the gays" bill. (Yes, I know it's odd wording. There's some perverse political reasoning here, i.e. we're not supporting killing gays, we're just not condemning the killing of gays in another country.) **UPDATE: In the comments section, Aaron and Kris Rhodes clarified the Uganda issue. Make sure to read about it.**

2. Let's keep the discussion on topic. This isn't about President Obama and his flip-flop on the issue. (Why does everything lead back to "NObama"? I get it. You don't like him.) This isn't about liberals having a double standard, e.g. "so open minded, until you say something they don't like." You got me. Liberals are self-righteous. I've met some self-righteous conservatives too. Can we claim a tie? However, I don't think this is a true liberal/conservative issue. I know many conservatives who are die-hards on the issue of individual freedom and removing government interference from our personal lives. As a result, they support gay marriage. Or just think "marriage" shouldn't be a legal institution at all, whatever.

3. Facebook isn't helping. Not really. At a certain point, I feel like Brick Tamland from Anchorman: "I don't know what we're yelling about!" "Loud noises!"

4. I have a lot of former students who follow me on Twitter and sometimes read this blog. If you work at Chick-Fil-A, and you feel strongly about gay rights, you should quit Chick-Fil-A. Teenagers work fast food chains. They need you. Ultimately, you'll find another job. They'll find a replacement. But years from now, you'll feel good about taking a stand. Trust me. In high school, I spoke out at the National Youth Conference for the United Methodist Church in favor of gay rights. I received my first death threat, slid under our hotel door. It's my first and only death threat. Scary as hell, but I'm proud of what I said.

5. Yes, the boycott probably won't hurt Chick-Fil-A in the long run. They will be just fine in the months ahead. However, it's okay to boycott something even if it's unsuccessful. For instance, I boycotted the movie Clockwork Orange. I watched a little bit of it, and then turned it off. I refuse to watch it. Rotten Tomatoes has Clockwork Orange listed at 91%. People love that movie. I'm not going to win, but it's a personal moral stance and I'm allowed to it. I also know that if we boycotted every corrupt and narrow-minded corporation, we'd go insane. Point taken. We're still allowed to boycott Chick-Fil-A.

6. I also think lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders (LGBT) will be fine. Too many people love and support their LGBT friends and family. Too many people care. I simply won't budge an inch on the rights of others to love and marry who they want to love and marry, and I'm certainly not alone. It's a matter of faith, love, and compassion.

7. Christians. You're not going to win this one, because even if you "win" you lose. In the end, I think this only hurts Christians. I'd recommend this book. If you're not willing to read this book, you should examine why you believe what you believe--and how seriously committed you are to "God's Truth." Or do you just mimic what others have been led to believe? Be well-read on your faith. Christians are exchanging principles of love and compassion for zeal. And while we'd like to think differently, zeal impresses no one. Love one another. Don't compartmentalize your understanding of love. Lovely freely. If God isn't loving, then I'd say the God of Christainity does not exist. The only way we know about God's love is through the love we share with one another. Christians, if you took a moment to talk with someone who is LGBT, really talk, and learned how much you were hurting them, you'd change. I sincerely believe that.

8. Gays are not "shoving homosexuality in your face." I have gay friends. I have lesbian friends. I have bisexual friends. I have transgender friends. Yes, I won LGBT friend diversity bingo. You know what we talk about? Comic books, sports, work, food, our families, pets, cool TV shows and movies. It's the same goofy conversations I have with my straight friends. I don't think in terms of gay friends/straight friends. They're just my friends. I care about all my friends, and I'm lucky to have them. My wife and I went to Round Up Saloon a while ago. It is a wonderfully, awesomely gay place. My wife and I had a great time dancing to Lady Gaga and Kelly Clarkson. At no point was I uncomfortable or felt like anything was being "shoved in my face." I was hanging out with friends that I don't see nearly enough, and we were all just being ourselves. That's cool.

(Straight homophobic men, are you afraid that gay men will view you with the same objectified violent viewpoint that you may have towards women? Are you afraid of being emasculated? What is it that so upsets you?)

9. And my last point, which is someone else's point. I'm not gay, so I can't truly speak on behalf of gays and their experiences. And it's not as if there's a handbook of unified gay opinion on any issue. I can only speak on my own experience and my own beliefs. However, I think my friend Richard sums it up best here:

I'm tired of all the straight folks telling me their opinions about Chick-Fil-A.

You're not the people they hate. You're not the people they discriminate against while they hide behind a good Christian banner. For every sandwich, 10 cent goes to a cause that wants to cure me. Every 5 cents goes to a cause that preaches I should be banished to an island or killed.

Eat your sandwich or your waffle fries. Have your opinion.

They hate me. They would lock me up. They would deny my relationship with Chris. They would have me banished or killed.

They publicly and financially do so.

If you feel like I misunderstood or misrepresented your perspective, by all means, post a comment. I will discuss, but I will not turn this blog into a forum for ranting and fighting. Show respect, intelligence, and self-moderation. I will do likewise.

MAYBORN AND THE BAR TAB

I didn't attend this year's Mayborn Literary Nonfiction Conference, but I drank there. Tim Rogers invited me to join them at the hotel bar. He's a fine hospitable fellow. I had a good time, arriving at around 9 PM and didn't leave until 2 AM. It was an interesting gathering of talented writers from all over the country. This happened. So did this. And this.

I need to register for next year's conference. From what I heard, the workshops and seminars were all good. Plus, a hotel room might make the late nights less daunting.

I get a little skeptical about writing conferences. They sometimes cater to a desperate constituency. Maybe because the conference is hosted by UNT, and not Writer's Digest, it reaches a different crowd. If I do attend a conference next year, I'll give Mayborn a shot. If nothing else, they have the bar.

UPDATE: Peter Simek wins the Mayborn report. Forget what I've written and just go here.

IS THIS A CONTEST?

Wizard World has a new contest available. You could win the chance to work for them. Here are the details: * Submit a video showing your crazy vlogging (not a word) skills. The video will be uploaded to the Wizard World's YouTube channel. * Get friends to vote on your video. * The top 10 contestants will work as videographers at the Wizard World Chicago Comic Con. You must cover at least two of the four days. * Wizard World will pay your admission to the convention. * Wizard World will not pay your airfare and accommodations.

How is this a contest? First, you are giving their YouTube channel free content AND freely promoting them. Second, you will be working for them, producing more video content for free. (Advance tickets are $75. Not including editing time, that's being paid $37.50 a day--hardly even minimum wage. It's not a deal.) Third, you have to pay your way there, including hotel and food. Congratulations, you won!

On Wizard World's end, it's not a bad idea. They get some enthusiastic vloggers (not a word) to help them out and add some media content to whatever it is they are now.

However, don't call it a contest. That's insulting to real contests. Just say you're looking for ten people willing to volunteer their time and talent to cover the Chicago convention. You'll find people happy to help. Want a better contest? Best dirty limerick wins, and you get lunch with the Boondock Saints. Sign me up.

ONE WORD: POSTCARDS

A month ago, I had a few beers with Matt Cobb, neighbor and renown writing champ. He suggested that I print some postcards to promote my freelance work. Good idea.

And whenever I want good ideas to look good, I call Paul Milligan. He designed the postcard. (Thanks Paul! Great work as always.) And I liked the illustration so much that I decided to use it for the site.

Ahem -->

In other news: I'm working on two stories for Arlington Magazine. Look for them in September/October issue.

THE GIRL WHO COULD LIVE IN YESTERDAY

It looks like I'm not the only person with a story-of-the-month club. My friend Jason Rodriguez announced the release of his short story "The Girl Who Could Live In Yesterday" for free on Amazon.com. I just read the story, and it's great. Here's all the information:

A couple of months ago I started writing sci-fi and fantasy shorts aimed at 2-4 year-old kids. I was jokingly calling them "Stories I'll Tell My Future Children." I recently decided to start distributing them via Amazon on a monthly basis - some illustrated, some not illustrated. Each story will be free for the first week and then go up to ninety-nine cents. I opted out of Digital Rights Management so that they can be passed around and shared by whoever might want to read them. And they will always be free in the Kindle Owners' Lending Library.

The first story, The Girl Who Could Live In Yesterday, is now live and free on Amazon.com at the link: http://www.amazon.com/Girl-Could-Live-Yesterday-ebook/dp/B008I3I576. It's a modern-day fable about the immutable past. If you don't have a Kindle, you can still read digital books from Amazon on your computer, Droid phone, web browser, etc - you can download any necessary apps here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=sa_menu_karl3?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771 . If you want a more detailed intro to the project along with some previews of future stories you can check out my blog post here: http://thebombbag.tumblr.com/post/26903435277

Please check the book out. If you like it, please let folks know about it. As mentioned, I plan on releasing one story a month, like the upcoming Little Particle That Could, an illustrated children's story about particle physics. And this is a promise: every story will be free for the first week, only cost 99-cents after that, and be DRM free. I want folks to read them.

STANDARD 3.0

The switch to Wordpress a few years ago kinda blew my mind. I had suffered through web design for several years, always with mixed results. In other words, I knew just enough to be bad at it. Once I started using Wordpress, things became so much easier. Last year, I decided to pay for a nicer theme. I bought Standard, and I've been very happy with it. Nice, clean design, simple to manage. Recently, they upgraded to 3.0, which is what you see here. (Ta-da!) I really like the changes they've made. The overall look is even cleaner and classier. For example, I really love the "quote" format in 3.0.

It's mobile theme ready. This means Standard 3.0 will detect mobile devices, both phones and tablets, and display my website optimized for that device. You can check this out on your smart phone. It's pretty cool.

It's search engine friendly. I can preview how my post will look in Google live as I create the post. Standard has self-educating SEO features.

They've improved the social icons, where I can now modify and create my own.

They moved all advertisements into widgets. All advertisements are managed from within the widget themselves. I should be adding a 300x250 ad in the right margin soon.

The author profile management is smarter, and everything is better integrated with the latest version of Wordpress.

Admittedly, I copy-and-pasted-and-adjusted a lot of this post from the email they sent to me. But it's all true! They sold me on Standard, and I'm used to using them.