A SIMPLE EMAIL TO MY COWORKERS

SUBJECT: The box says "World's Finest," and I have no reason to doubt. A general address to the faithful workers contained within this creative space for the specific purpose of parting from you your hard earnings:

Salutations and good morn! My daughter, an earnest capitalist in the truest sense of the word, has beseeched me to act as her agent in the selling and distribution of fine chocolate confections. Wherefore such actions? The chief aim being to raise funds to support her school, and if I may venture, to pay the monthly salaries of the buffeted pedagogues. I digress. If you would like such delectable candy, you may ask yourself, “How can I afford such wondrous treats? Surely, since the box proclaims the sundry sweets as the ‘WORLD’S FINEST CHOCOLATE,’ how can I afford it? It must require my own life’s savings!” Nay. Fear not, gentle plebeian, the chocolate of which you speak, requires only two bills. And not the one’s bearing Franklin’s sour visage, but that of our noble Washington. Two dollars for a box of chocolate, upon my life, I speak the truth. Come visit me at my work station, and I will gladly officiate the transaction.

In the interim, thank you and glad tidings for your generosity.

Sincerely, David Hopkins Wordsmith and protector of strategic methodologies for the purpose of enhancing our client’s bounty

Post script: This is what befalls, hence you listen to the Moby Dick audiobook on the highway to work.

[tweet "A general address to the faithful workers contained within this creative space"]

FANTASTIC FOUR TRAILER: CHANGE IS COMING

Some thoughts on the release (finally) of the Fantastic Four teaser trailer:

• I'm digging the Philip Glass score.
• Not digging the obligatory light shooting in sky to open a portal.
• The official website describes it as a "contemporary reimagining." I'm conflicted. I don't want this movie to tread the same ground as the other movies (3, including Roger Corman's). But would I prefer to see what Marvel Studios would do with the FF in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Yeah.

• Josh Trank is capable of making a good movie. (Exhibit A: Chronicle) I'll take a good movie that works from the same genetic ooze as the real FF (Exhibit B: The Incredibles). But it's not as satisfying as seeing a good FF movie that looks like what I read in the comics.
• By "looks like what I read in the comics," I'm not talking about Johnny Storm as played by Michael B. Jordan. I'm really excited about the casting of Michael. I'm still a little confused by Billy Elliot (aka Jamie Bell) playing Ben. We'll have to see how the CG works with him. In the teaser commentary video, Trank said that Bell's blue eyes will remain untouched by effects--which is interesting.
• Oh yeah, here's the teaser commentary video: https://www.yahoo.com/movies/the-fantastic-four-teaser-trailer-with-commentary-109246554892.html
• Watching the commentary trailer, Trank needs to stop calling it "The Ultimates." The Ultimates is the Avengers. You mean, Ultimate Fantastic Four. It's confusing. I know.
• Tagline: "Change is coming." Is this a shot at the fans who complained about... everything?
• Trank: "This was the first, most important superhero group in the history of modern comics."
• The trailer didn’t give us any of the actors interacting or talking. More of a mood piece.
• I could take the moral high ground and say, “If nothing else, maybe it’ll drive more people to the comic.” But in truth, if it’s wildly popular, it may change the direction of the FF comic in the rapidly changing Marvel universe. (Whenever FF returns...) A hit could change how Marvel does FF going forward.
• You should read this interview with Josh Trank and Simon Kinberg over at Collider. The whole interview reads like some serious damage control. However, kudos to Trank for this moment...WEINTRAUB: I have to ask, so Marvel cancels The Fantastic Four…. TRANK: What? What?! WEINTRAUB: When did you guys hear that Marvel was canceling the Fantastic Four comic book, and what was the first reaction? TRANK: Do you remember when Jay-Z said he retired from rapping? WEINTRAUB: Yes. TRANK: I almost forgot that too.

EPIC MAD MAX TRAILER

From WIRED: "After watching this clip we wanted to file this under 'Greatest Movie Ever Made' even though it’s probably a little too soon to make that call. That said, we’ve got a feeling, deep in our bones, that this movie will be spectacular. George Miller looks like he’s out for bloody vengeance, seeking to rain down hate on anyone who’s dared make an 'action' movie since he left the post-apocalypse behind."

ANTIGONE AND POWER

A few months ago, a student from the University of Rochester in New York contacted me. She was taking an English class on adaptations. Part of her research paper included the adaptation of Antigone that I created along with Tom Kurzanski. (The comic is available online in its entirety. Go to my published work page and scroll down. It’s there, all 32 pages.) From her email:

I love your adaptation; I especially love seeing Antigone's power shown so blatantly. In looking at your other works, it seems that female characters take a large role. In your Antigone, female power seems to be a very central part of how you tell the story. I was just wondering if you had any thoughts about this. Was portraying feminism in Antigone your intention? Was this theme of power used in order to strengthen the plot in any way, or was it more of a message in itself?

My response:

Obviously, debating the definition of what makes something "feminist" is almost as old as the movement itself. I consider myself a feminist, and I try to incorporate ideas about gender and power into my work. I see Antigone as a powerful character -- in part -- as a function of Greek dualism. The obvious counter example would be her sister Ismene. However, I see Creon as the true weak one. His desperation to hold onto his political power has weakened him. He pretends to not care about the will of the people, but it's clear that he does care. He's a bully who hides behind his authority, whereas Antigone's power comes from her own conviction of right and wrong and the will of the gods. I see Antigone as a character who, through no fault of her own, is constantly challenging people on their own convictions. That's why I had Antigone kiss her sister in the opening scene. It was her way of forcing the issue of their incest origins. It was a power play, and a rather cruel one.

The concept of "power" is omnipresent in the play, and hopefully in the comic as well. Military power. Political power. The influence of family. Love. Power of fate. Violence. As a woman, Antigone feels physically weak compared to her uncle. So she has to find other ways to exert her power. Through disobedience to his law. And then, when Creon's wife commits suicide, that's the ultimate loss of power, isn't it? In the final scene, Creon acknowledges that he is powerless before the fate of the gods.

My other comics (Karma Incorporated, Emily Edison, Astronaut Dad) all touch on feminism and power, just in different ways. For instance, Karma Incorporated, ultimately, is about domestic violence. It's just disguised as a con artist/caper story.

BIG FELLA? FUCK YOU TOO.

Yesterday, I had dinner by myself at Oddfellows. I wanted to get a quick bite before going to a book signing. (Rough life, huh?) Oddfellows is perhaps my favorite place in Dallas to eat. The place isn't too crowded--except for brunch. It's a cool restaurant in a great neighborhood, relaxed environment, lots of natural light, and good food. Now you have my two-sentence Yelp review. I was sitting there, reading a book (because that's how I roll). And this server walked up to me. He was probably in his early twenties. He had red hair and a camp counselor smile. He looked like the kind of attractive guy who no one could imagine having sex with, because it'd feel like you were befouling a muppet. The guy cheerfully approached.

"Hey there, big fella, can I get you something to drink?"

Cue the record scratch. Big fella? Big. Fella. What grown-ass adult calls another grown-ass adult "big fella," who? Big fella is what you call a tubby kid when he's at Disneyland. ("Hi, big fella, are you excited to meet Mickey Mouse?") Do not ever call me "big fella."

This casual, faux familiarity has to stop at some point. These diminutive, hypocoristic names -- honey, sweetie, sugar, champ, sport, boss, bro, buddy, pal, chief -- are ridiculous. Unless your name is Peggy and you work at a small diner, in a small town, then feel free to call me "honey" or "sweetie." Otherwise, I seriously have no problem with "sir" or learn my damn name.

I like the casual vibe, but let's not get too snugly with the pet names. M'kay? Of course, I did not flip out at Oddfellows, because then I would look like an asshole. Instead, I decided to blog about it and be a prick. Fortunately, another person took over as my server, and she did not speak to me like I was in the hospital about to get my tonsils removed with ice cream to follow.

No, I did not flip out. I smiled. Tipped 20 percent. And acted like a normal, happy customer.

But to the camp counselor muppet who called me "big fella," at that moment, I wanted to drag you into the street and beat you senseless with my hardcover. Obviously, I didn't, because who does that? And you'd probably kick my ass. I bet you go to the gym. But in my mind, in the wonderful playground of my twisted imagination, you are broken and crying in the street, while some valet guy is honking at you, demanding that you crawl to the sidewalk so he can park the car. No, wait. He just ran you over. Totally not my fault.

Okay. I feel better now.

If you do go to Oddfellows, I would suggest the Buffalo Mac. It is delightful. Or take a few friends for brunch, arrive early. You won't be disappointed.

BECHDEL TEST THYSELF!

I've always considered myself a feminist. As someone who makes up stuff out of thin air, I'm concerned with how I portray women in my stories -- to do so in a way that is honest and fair and responsible, to create stories that offer compelling characters, both male and female. I want good stories, and I believe this is EASIER to accomplish when you approach narratives as an intelligent, compassionate human being.

However, having been raised on a steady diet of male-oriented genre fiction, a writer can fall into one of the many tired, sexist tropes that besiege modern storytelling: damsel in distress, stay in the kitchen, double standards, slut shaming, and many more. These tropes exist because of lazy one-dimensional writing. Writers use the female characters to merely support the male characters.

Out of curiousity, I wanted to see how I fared against the Bechdel Test. What is the Bechdel Test, you say? To quote Ashe Cantrell at FilmSchoolRejects.com:

"The Bechdel Test, if you’re not familiar with it, is a benchmark for movies developed by Alison Bechdel in 1985. For a movie to pass The Bechdel Test, it must contain just one thing - a scene in which two or more named female characters have a conversation (that is, back and forth dialogue) about anything at all besides men. Anything, even if it’s something stereotypically feminine, like shopping or shoes. It could be about dog poo. It doesn’t matter."

After a quick read through my comics, here's how I stand.

Lengthy projects -->

Astronaut Dad: PASSED Karma Incorporated: PASSED Emily Edison: PASSED Antigone: FAILED (Technically, Sophocles failed. It's adapted from his original play. There's Antigone and Ismene, but they only talk about their brother Polynices.) We've Never Met: PASSED Souvenir of Dallas: PASSED (Barely, these one-pagers don't have much in the way of conversation. Plus, since these one-pagers center around the misadventures of Fictional Paul and Fictional David, there aren't many women. However, one comic "Real Housewives of Dallas" does fit the criteria.) Some Other Day: PASSED One Night Stand: PASSED Mine All Mine: PASSED

88 percent.

Short stories -->

"Productivity" from Boo! Halloween Stories #1: FAILED (There's only two characters in this short story, a man and a woman.) "From Geek to Freak to Emergency Room" from Jam! Tales from the World of Roller Derby: PASSED "Judge Roy Bean" from Outlaw Territory Vol. 3: FAILED (Four characters in the story, all men.) "50 Miles to Marfa" from PopGun Vol. 3: FAILED (Three characters, only one girl.) "Virginia 1939" from Bradley Boys Adventure Magazine: FAILED (Only one woman in the short story, on the last panel, and she doesn't say anything.) "Betrayal of the Man-Eating Cow Clones" from The Tick's 20th Anniversary Special Edition: FAILED (One page story, no female characters.) "The Stranger Waits for Me" from Western Tales of Terror #2: FAILED (No conversations in this story. Mostly the narrator.) "CFI: Silent Forest" from Silent Forest Television Parody Special: FAILED "The Sparrow" from Dead@17 Rough Cut Vol. 2: FAILED (There's no dialogue in this story at all.) "Fight to Live" from Dead@17 Rough Cut Vol. 1: FAILED (Only one female character, she doesn't talk. Too busy being resurrected.) "Siren Song" from Dark Horrors Anthology: FAILED "Fighting David Parrot" FAILED "DangerZone Dave vs. the Realistic Dolphin" FAILED "The Happy Bullets Present an Illustrated Companion Pamphlet for the Album Hydropanic at the Natatorium" FAILED

7 percent. Clearly, my short stories don't stand up as well as my longer stories/projects.

I don't know if the Bechel Test exonerates or condemns. But it does create an interesting starting point for a conversation about gender in fiction. (For instance, the original Star Wars trilogy fails the Bechdel Test miserably. There are only three named female characters with speaking roles--Leia, Aunt Beru, and Mon Mothma.)

I would encourage other writers to test themselves. But more importantly, I encourage us all to go beyond this simple, low-bar benchmark. No more lazy stereotypes. No more sexist tropes. Simply creating a "strong, female character" is not the same as creating a female character worth caring about. I'm confident that my best work is ahead of me, and you'll notice it, because the characters will breathe real air. They won't come out of the box as pre-packaged genre fiction crap. But in order to do that, I have to think intelligently about how I approach my characters.

THE DANISH POET

THE QUOTABLE TACTICS TIME NEWSLETTER

I really enjoy (and highly recommend) the Tactics Time newsletter by Tim Brennan. A few times each week, he sends an email with a tactical conundrum from a real game, something that you might actually see over the board--not just tactical compositions. He also includes a little bit of interesting commentary on the game itself. Each newsletter features an inspirational quote. I wanted to share a few of my favorites.

"In chess, attention is more important than concentration." - Frank J. Marshall

"When you strike at a king, you must kill him" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"All great achievements require time." ― Maya Angelou

"Tactics are it. People under 2000 shouldn't study anything else. You need to work on the ability to count and calculate." - Mig Greengard

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." - Calvin Coolidge

"The weaker the player the more terrible the Knight is to him, but as a player increases in strength the value of the Bishop becomes more evident to him, and of course there is, or should be, a corresponding decrease in his estimation of the value of the Knight as compared to the bishop." - Jose Capablanca

"I give 98 percent of my mental energy to Chess. Others give only 2 percent."  -  Bobby Fischer

"The pleasure to be derived from a chess combination lie in the feeling that a human mind is behind the game, dominating the inanimate pieces ...and giving them breath of life." - Richard Reti

"No matter how much theory progresses, how radically styles change, chess play is inconceivable without tactics." -  Samuel Reshevsky

"When you see a good move, look for a better one." - Emanuel Lasker

"The player who plays best in a tournament never wins first. He finishes second behind the guy with the most luck." - Saviely Tartakower

"There are only two kinds of moves in the opening: moves which are wrong and moves which could be wrong." - Saviely Tartakower

"Improvise. Adapt. Overcome." - Clint Eastwood (Heartbreak Ridge)

10 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I TURN 38, JUST 10

April has a list she does every year near her birthday. While I commend her for wanting to do "33 Things" before she turns 32, I'm turning 38 next year -- and "39 things" is a lot of things, even if it's just piddling things. I'll be old, one day, if I'm lucky. And I don't want to think of 99 things when I turn 98. Sorry. I'm sticking with 10. It's a good number. 1. Print and distribute my short story collection.

2. Memorize a poem that I like.

3. Memorize some more Mark Twain quotes. (Everybody likes Twain quotes, right?)

4. Less Facebook. More books.

5. Shine shoes like a pro. Pop that rag!

6. Get my USCF rating to above 1400.

7. Finish "Improve Your Chess Tactics" by Yakov Neishtadt.

8. Every week, work on my novel.

9. Get our garden going.

10. Meditate more.

MY 20 FAVORITE ALBUMS

Back in the old days, you'd invite a friend over and they could peruse your CD shelf, quietly nodding to your choices. I guess people still have CD (and record) collections, but almost everything I have is now stored within the near-infinite, intangible bytes of my iPod. If I could pull my favorites and put them on the shelf, here they are. I made one of these lists for Facebook a few years ago. And I think another such list is hiding in the vast archives of this blog.

My mood changes, so do my preferences, but some albums stay at number 1. Hello again, Doolittle, my old friend.

Feel free to post your own list or debate my impeccable musical tastes in the comments section.

All links go to Spotify--unless I couldn't find the album.

20. Fox Confessor Brings the Flood by Neko Case Favorite song: "Fox Confessor Brings the Flood"

For me, this is Neko Case at her best -- wistful, haunting, melodic.

19. From A Basement On The Hill by Elliott Smith Favorite song: "King's Crossing"

This album hit me hard. Like all great works, it holds together by a string, but it still holds.

18. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Favorite song: "Details of the War"

Some people lament the decline of Clap Your Hands, once heralded with the "most likely to succeed" curse, the new indie darling. Regardless of their future missteps, this album stands on its own merit.

17. Sailing the Seas of Cheese by Primus Favorite song: "Jerry Was A Race Car Driver"

I've come back around to Primus. There's something delightfully immature about this band.

16. Flood by They Might Be Giants Favorite song: "Birdhouse In Your Soul"

This album establishes the TMBG gold standard for fun, silly songs with deceptive depth and melancholy.

15. Firecracker by Lisa Loeb Favorite song: "Wishing Heart"

It's my guilty pleasure on the list. And I will defend its charm and virtue. I know this album by heart.

14. Veckatimest by Grizzly Bear Favorite song: "Two Weeks"

I'm a sucker for eighth notes on a piano. I don't know why. It's a great album for zoning out and losing yourself.

13. Automatic for the People by R.E.M. Favorite song: "Sweetness Follows"

At one time, R.E.M. was my favorite band. I burnt myself out listening to this album. Which I guess is a good thing?

12. Hunky Dory by David Bowie Favorite song: "Life on Mars"

Bowie's best album.

11. Violent Femmes by Violent Femmes Favorite song: "Gone Daddy Gone"

When I first heard this album, I threw away all my thrash and speed metal. Yes, the Violent Femmes ruined Anthrax for me.

10. Siamese Dream by The Smashing Pumpkins Favorite song: "Disarm"

The opening to "Cherub Rock" is one of my favorite album introductions. It says, "This is what you came for." And the album never disappoints.

9. Rubberneck by Toadies Favorite song: "Quitter"

I admit some regional bias.

8. Exile in Guyville by Liz Phair Favorite song: “Divorce Song” or "Fuck and Run"

Most underrated album ever? Not kidding. This album should be required listening for anyone who cares about good music. It's such a raw, vulnerable, powerful, and complete work.

7. Bone Machine by Tom Waits Favorite song: "I Don't Wanna Grow Up"

This album was my gateway into the much wider world of Tom Waits.

6. Apologies to the Queen by Wolf Parade Favorite song: "I'll Believe in Anything"

A powerfully cathartic album, yes, I used the word "cathartic."

5. Magical Mystery Tour by The Beatles Favorite song: "I Am the Walrus"

The Beatles' most solid album from beginning to end? Let the debate begin.

4. Love this Giant by David Byrne and St. Vincent Favorite song: "I Should Watch TV"

A little too new to be this far up on the list? Maybe. But there's something about Byrne that brings out the best in Annie Clark and vice versa.

3. In a Bar, Under the Sea by dEUS Favorite song: "Roses"

The Belgium band dEUS never found its audience in the U.S., except me. So, here I am--basking in the knowledge that everyone else is wrong.

2. The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan by Bob Dylan Favorite song: "Girl from the North Country"

In the Bob Dylan v. Beatles debate, I'll side with Bob. One could argue without the Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, the Beatles would've never evolved beyond being a teen-bop phenomena. This album challenged them to be something more substantial. And it does that to almost everyone who listens to it.

1. Doolittle by Pixies Favorite song: "Wave of Mutilation"

Nothing is wasted on this concise folky masterpiece of distortion and surf rock. This album is weird and wonderful.

FIRST EVER DALLAS SOLO FEST

Audacity Theatre Lab is pleased to announce the 2014 Dallas Solo Fest, May 15-25, 2014 at the Margo Jones Theatre in Fair Park. Eight solo shows highlight this inaugural festival with several local performers as well as performers coming in from around the country. The inaugural Dallas Solo Fest line-up includes Deanna Fleysher’s Butt Kapinski, Veronica Russell’s A Different Woman, John Michael’s Crossing Your I’s, Zeb L. West’s Innocent When You Dream, David Mogolov’s Eating My Garbage, Alexandra Tatasky’s Beast of Festive Skin, Elaine Liner’s Sweater Curse: A Yarn About Love and Danny O’Connor’s Bouncing Ugly. Collectively, these performers represent a wide variety of solo performance styles from storytelling, puppetry and improvisational clown pieces to pieces that defy easy explanation.

The purpose of the Dallas Solo Fest is to celebrate extraordinary solo theatre as well as increase awareness and appreciation for the form in the north Texas area.

The Dallas Solo Fest will be produced by Audacity Theatre Lab and will play at the Margo Jones Theatre. Located at the Magnolia Lounge in Fair Park at 1121 First Avenue, Dallas, TX 75210, the Margo Jones Theatre features ample free, well-lit parking, access to the DART Rail, and a handy BYOB policy!

Single tickets and Festival Passes for all shows go on sale April 23. Festival Passes, now on sale, include one admission to each festival show and are $55. Individual ticket prices for each show are $12. Reservations can be made at the Dallas Solo Fest website or by calling (214) 888-6650. Details about the shows, artists bios, the full schedule and ticket information at: www.DallasSoloFest.com

The inaugural Dallas Solo Fest line-up includes:

A Different Woman: A True Story of a Texas Childhood by Veronica Russell (New Orleans), adapted the book My First Thirty Years by Gertrude Beasley. This solo show presents an unvarnished, unapologetic and cynical tale of a rural Texas childhood told by a woman who pulled herself out of the cycle of poverty and abuse in which she found herself. A Different Woman is a darkly humorous stage adaptation of Ms. Beasley's controversial banned memoir. Playing Thursday, May 22 @ 7:30 pm, Friday, May 23 @ 9:00 pm, Saturday, May 24 @ 10:30 pm

Beast of Festive Skin by Alexandra Tatarsky (New York City) is an absurdist vaudeville about alchemists, rappers and other creative visionaries stuck in Hell. These deranged darlings of the underworld tell their tales of woe with a truly fiery need to get by. The horror of existence! The agony of creation! The one-woman show people are dying to see! Playing Friday, May 16 @ 10:30 pm, Saturday, May 17 @ 7:30 pm, Sunday, May 18 @ 5:00 pm

Bouncing Ugly by Danny O’Connor (Dallas) recounts his experience as a bouncer at the Coyote Ugly Saloon in NYC. He has stories, oh yes, he has stories. Playing Thursday, May 15 @ 9:00 pm, Saturday, May 17 @ 9:00 pm, Sunday, May 18 @ 8:30 pm

Butt Kapinski by Deanna Fleysher (Los Angeles) stars as Private Eye Butt Kapinski. The audience is invited to co-star in an improvisational film noir fantasy. This funny, filthy, fully-interactive ride is riddled with sex, sin, shadows and subterfuge. Playing Thursday, May 22 @ 10:30 pm, Friday, May 23 @ 7:30 pm, Saturday, May 24 @ 9:00 pm

Crossing Your I’s by John Michael (Dallas) concerns John’s experiences learning from and working with dementia patients. This World Premiere solo show about intergenerational understanding and the messiness of human connections is filtered through John Michael’s uniquely kinetic and hilarious perspective. Playing Thursday, May 15 @ 10:30 pm, Friday, May 18 @ 9:00 pm, Friday, May 23 @ 10:30 pm

Eating My Garbage by David Mogolov (Boston). Dumbfounded by a call from a political pollster, David searches himself for a reason to believe the nation isn't utterly doomed. When he can't quite think of one, he turns to irrational reasons. That's when his search gets more promising. Playing Friday, May 16 @ 7:30 pm, Saturday, May 17 @ 10:30 pm, Sunday, May 18 @ 7:00 pm

Innocent When You Dream by Zeb L. West (Austin) takes place in the belly of a whale. A heartbroken castaway, swallowed and driven mad has only two books to read - Don Quixote and Moby Dick. He acts out the books using puppets and masks fashioned from flotsam. This solo adventure uses physical comedy and sea shanties to smash two literary epics into an hour of shameless antics! Playing Thursday, May 22 @ 9:00 pm, Saturday, May 24 @ 7:30 pm, Sunday, May 25 @ 3:30 pm

Sweater Curse: A Yarn About Love by Elaine Liner (Dallas) was a 5-star hit at the 2013 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Bring your knitting (or crocheting) and stitch along as Dallas writer-performer Elaine Liner shares her obsessions with great literature, old movies and the romantic entanglements of knitting sweaters for significant others. Playing Thursday, May 15 @ 7:30 pm, Sunday, May 18 @ 3:30 pm, Sunday, May 25 @ 5:00 pm

ADVICE ON BREAKING IN

I had a former student email me a few days ago, asking about how I got into comics. He was seeking advice on what to do. There's no singular way to get into comics. There's no path except the one that works, and then it usually only works once and under precarious, fleeting conditions. A few things have worked for others, and any combinations of these tactics (listed below) would be better than doing nothing.

•  In the words of Steve Martin, "be so good they can't ignore you." People like Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman, and Grant Morrison were always going to be successful, because eventually someone, somewhere would see the genius. The shine was too bright.
• Find a job where you can hide away or slack off while you actually write.
• Be homeless. You can access computers at the public library. You can spend your time writing while sleeping in a shelter somewhere in the evenings. I don't know if this works.
• Take out loans, live under crushing debt, start your own small press company, and attend every major comic book convention as a publisher. You may eventually go bankrupt. However, by that time, you may be well-known enough to get some gigs elsewhere.
• Start a shitty web comic and self-publish your own projects.
• Find one small press company and befriend them. Intern. Run errands.
• Write about comics. Start a podcast or a blog, or both. Be a resource to others. If you can grow as a pop culture authority, eventually, someone might trust you to write for them.
• Find work as an editor, be really good, and then shift into writing.
• Pay an artist to work with you on a larger project. I paid someone to illustrate my first 24 page comic. Nice guy. From there, I started getting more breaks.

I taught for several years, and that gave me spare time in the evenings, weekends, and summers to write. I started by writing mini-comics, occasionally co-hosting Fanboy Radio, and contributing short stories to anthologies. I met people in San Diego and elsewhere. I always had about two or three things in the works that I could share at a moment's notice, and I wasn't afraid to throw away a project that clearly wasn't working.

If your ideas have a commercial appeal and you can skillfully execute it, someone should be interested somewhere. Make sure you can explain your idea concisely in one sentence. It needs to be interesting, a variation on a theme, with a clear market in mind.

The "how to break in" question is an odd one. Nothing will happen if you aren't clearly better than your peers. So, keep writing and keep writing and keep writing. Being a creative professional requires a certain degree of ego, swagger and deluded sense of worth.

What advice would you have? Feel free to post in the comments.

[tweet "Advice on breaking in: There's no path except the one that works."]

ST. VINCENT, DIGITAL WITNESS

Must share.

SPEAKING AT THE SMU WOMEN'S SYMPOSIUM

Tomorrow, I'm speaking at SMU's 49th Annual Women’s Symposium. My 30-minute talk will be about the historical and social impact of women superheroes, from Wonder Woman to Emily Edison. In particular, my jumping off point is this letter to Lego from 7-year-old Charlotte Benjamin. What I will try to say in 30-minutes, she says much more concisely (and eloquently) in just a few words: "Let them go on adventures and have fun. OK!?! Thank you."

Comic book writers, take note. It's all right there. Let them go on adventures and have fun.

In honor of Wonder Woman and my presentation, I want to share something I wrote that never got published. Smart Pop Books, a few years ago, was considering a Wonder Woman anthology to accompany a possible Joss Whedon helmed Wonder Woman movie. Of course, we all know what happened there. I wrote the first part of my essay, working title: "Wonder Woman and Superman in Conversation: The Gender Gap in DC’s New Frontier," and then stopped when the DC movie fell through. So, the excerpt below is unpolished and unfinished, but some good ideas exist in there somewhere. Feel free to read and look for them.

***

Why do fans always want Wonder Woman and Superman to hook up? After all, Wonder Woman has had a long running relationship with Army officer Steve Trevor, and Superman will always been associated with the intrepid reporter Lois Lane. Yet the thought of these two Super Friends becoming more than friends is too tempting. From one perspective, Wonder Woman represents a greater conquest than Lois Lane. Diana is the Amazonian Princess, an immortal – and for Wonder Woman’s creators William Moulton Marston and his wife Elizabeth Holloway Marston, Wonder Woman is meant to represent the ultimate woman. She is to be the greatest ambassador for her gender. Superman, if he deserves the best, it’s Wonder Woman.

From another perspective, this super-union is not about a conquest, but compatibility. These two people are godlike. How could they ever find someone they truly relate to among everyday people? As Brodie in the film Mallrats so eloquently explains, Superman is too power to even have sex with Lois Lane, nor would her womb be able to contain the super child of their union.

“He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid.”

Only someone like Wonder Woman. Also, we should consider Wonder Woman and Superman do not age as normal humans. Steve Trevor and Lois Lane will be shipped to a nursing home, while Wonder Woman and Superman are still stopping powerful locomotives and leaping tall buildings.

The desire for this hypothetical union is rooted in our most primitive mythological concepts. Wonder Woman, the Amazonian, comes from the earth. Literally. Queen Hippolyta created her out of clay, and the Greek gods brought Wonder Woman to life by granting Hippolyta’s wish for motherhood. Thus, Wonder Woman is representative of the earth. Superman comes from the sky, rocketing to this planet from the devastated planet of Krypton. He takes to the air, up in the sky; it’s Superman. Their relationship satisfies a symbolic union of the feminine nature of the earth, the Earth Mother, and the masculine sky god. No wonder fans are begging for Superman and Wonder Woman. They are only asking for the most ancient of mythic norms.

Despite all this, readers shouldn’t expect too much between the two Titans. Lois Lane has been connected with Superman since Action Comics No. 1, and in every radio drama, television series, cartoon, and movie since. Likewise, Wonder Woman meeting Steve Trevor crash landing on Paradise Island is central to her origin story. Still, when comic book readers see Wonder Woman and Superman, we instinctively see them as the ideals of woman and man, as representatives to their gender. DC Comics should be keenly aware that when Wonder Woman and Superman share the page, they make a statement about the nature and roles of men and women, our values – similarly, how we relate to each other, how we communicate. While limiting the male or female experience to a sole representative may seem to reinforce harmful stereotypes, to ignore how men and women are presenting in popular culture might be more damaging. We can find gender typecasting as far back as Adam and Eve. Such insights should inform our perspective and not diminish it.

Numerous comic book writers have explored the Wonder Woman/Superman relationship. Each contributes a slightly different (and sometimes contradictory) piece to their continuity. If the Wonder Woman fan is searching for something definitive, they may be greatly disappointed. However, Darwyn Cooke offers the most compelling look at their relationship, with a touch of complexity and understanding to their symbolic role as ambassadors to their gender.

The New Frontier

In 2004, writer and artist Darwyn Cooke began his ambitious award-winning six issue miniseries called DC: The New Frontier. This epic storyline bridges the gap between the Golden Age of Comics and the Silver Age, moving from the America of the 1950s to the 1960s. This series also bridged other gaps — looking at the gap between hero and superhero, the gap between races, socio-economic levels, and the gap between men and women. In many regards, the mid-20th century could be summarized as a convergence of these gaps. After World War II, the United States was seeking to redefine itself from its long-standing Monroe Doctrine of isolationism to a great responsibility as a Cold War Super Power, playing the tenuous role of global superhero. DC: The New Frontier is such an impressive achievement, because Darwyn Cooke balances numerous plot lines, involving almost the entire pantheon of DC characters, while carefully examining America’s identity in the Atomic Age. These plot lines are unified through a common threat.

Wonder Woman’s story arc deals primarily with her relationship to Superman who she respects, but ultimately disagrees with on national politics and personal responsibility. This arc covers two different scenes with a third scene of reconciliation.

[And that's all I wrote on the subject. See you tomorrow at the symposium.]

SORTING THROUGH THE PHOTO BOX

Last Saturday, April was livid. Her outdated iPhone had failed her one too many times. The chief complaint was that it would not notify her when a call was coming. And what is an iPhone without the "phone?" (Actually, Apple already has the answer; it's just an iPod Touch.) After a conciliatory conversation about the evils of planned obsolescence, I convinced April to take her losses to Tmobile. We have lived together for six years, and we would finally have a shared phone plan. At Tmobile, we were able to get an iPhone 5S without paying a dime upfront. Even with the increased installment plan to account for the pricey phone, we are still paying less than our separate phone bills from the previous years. An all-around win. The only crisis came when we discovered April might lose the photos from her previous phone. Tmobile was having trouble with "the cloud." Hundreds of photos, potentially lost. Fortunately, Dropbox did what iCloud could not, and the photos were saved.

Following this theme of "preservation," on Sunday, April took me to Michaels to buy some boxes to store my old photos from high school and college. I was organizing everything in my new study/reading room/chess room, and I decided it was time to retire the Airwalk shoe box where I had crammed these photos. Scrapbook? Not happening. I just needed a nice box to keep the dust off my archives.

Time to play the game, "Back in My Day."

Back in my day, people used cameras that required "film." You might be able to buy a roll of 27 exposures -- that means, 27 photos, 27 clicks. You then had to go back to the photo processing center to get these photos "developed." Basically, you were paying to see the photo you had taken. It could take a few days or an hour if you were impatient. Often the photos would be terrible (an accidental shot of your foot or the wall, an awkward facial expression, bad backlighting, and so on). Not only that, you had to keep your camera with you, at all times, in order to take a picture.

I am envious, extremely envious (I need a stronger adverb than "extremely," tremendously, acutely, decidedly, damn?); I am damn envious of the kids today. They carry their slim phones with them at all times. And when needed, these phones become cameras. They can take hundreds, thousands of photos. Look at them immediately. If they don't like the photo, they can delete it and try again. They can take as many photos as they want until they get the most pleasing representation of that moment. And this costs practically nothing (data plans and $600 phone notwithstanding). They can save these photos on the social networking site of their choice or print them, either way, and then move on.

How will their polished memories of the high school/college experience differ from my fractured record?

Their photos will be like a flipbook, animating day-to-day experiences. While my shoe box of photos is like the precious torn fragments of a parchment that once told a complete story.

Yesterday evening, I went through my photos -- sorting and, yes, throwing some out. (Do I really need a photo of some girl's shoe? Why did I take a picture of her shoe? Whose shoe is that?) I lovingly moved them from the battered Airwalk box into two crisp black photo boxes.

I have a few observations I'd like to share.

•  I'm terrible at taking photos. I should have warned people to pose, or at least, stand still. I have blurry photos and odd side shots. I should have used a flash. There are numerous silhouettes in the dark. I have no clue who these people are. I have photos of people that are off-center, marginalized, cut in half.
• I should have taken more photos of people, less photos of locations. I don't know why I have some many photos of buildings and empty streets. I don't care about those buildings now. It's the people I miss.
• I should have taken, and kept, more photos. I didn't have much money in high school and college. I mostly depended on the kindness of my parents. In high school, I worked in my dad's warehouse a few hours here and there. In college, I worked a minimum wage position at the Wesleyan Campus Ministry, 20 hours a week. I was always saving money for a new guitar or amp. I should have bought more film.
• I should have learned how to smile, a nice normal smile. I was always giving this crazed, open-mouth exclamation: HEY! Sure, it looked enthusiastic. But now, I see it as overbearing and upstaging, like I was trying too hard to have the most fun. Instead of being part of the scene, I was dominating with gusto. Maybe that's just part of being a teenager?
• I had more friends than I remember having. I see photos of people who have slipped my mind, and I remember just how much I cared for them. How can teenagers fit so much caring into such a short period of time? Nowadays, all my "caring" energy is guardedly reserved for my daughter, my wife, the rest of my family, and a handful of friends.
• I should have taken fewer photos of Robyn, more photos of Susan.
• What was going on with my hair? It was terrible, even by '90s standards. Why didn't anyone tell me? In college, especially, I had Bettie Page bangs. Bettie Page bangs. It looked ridiculous. I'm going bald now. The few hairs that are left are usually flying free like a bad Tom Waits impersonation. And my hair is LESS embarrassing now than back then. I should have gotten a better haircut. I can't wait until I'm completely bald, and I can fully surrender.
• I wish I had taken more photos at "non-events," just hanging out with friends and such.
• Every photo where I'm posing with my guitar looks idiotic. And it's obvious that I asked my mom to take the photo. I was never a rock star.
• Some friends completely avoided my camera.
• The word "nostalgia" implies a degree of pain over the past. I always think of the song "Bob Dylan's Dream." ("I wish in vain that we could sit simply in that room again. Ten thousand dollars at the drop of a hat, I’d give it all gladly if our lives could be like that.") I had a privileged and blessed adolescence. But I can't help it, there's a little bit of sadness thrown in.

I gave up around midnight. I put my two boxes on the top shelf of the closet in the chess room, knowing that I may not revisit these photos again for a few more years. But I would come back. I always do.

The house was dark. Everyone else was asleep. I checked on my daughter, sleeping soundly in her new room. She's nine years old, nearing ten. My high school and college years barely spanned eight years. And those years crawled so slowly, deliberately. The ten years with my daughter have sped by with no regard for my attempts to tap the brakes.

I navigated the new house in the dark to get to my bedroom on the other side. I didn't stub my toe once. I got into bed with April.

I can't imagine loving anyone or anything more than I love Kennedy and April. It puts everything else in perspective.

Asleep, April had a firm lock on the blankets and sheets. My karmic punishment for staying up late. I fell asleep in minutes, if not seconds. But for a moment, I thought about how navigating my house in the dark felt like an apt metaphor for what it's like to be a teenager. And how I should probably blog about it in the morning.

[tweet "How will their polished memories differ from my fractured record?"]

ME AND HUFFINGTON POST

Last year, I wrote and performed a story as part of the Oral Fixation series. Now it's available on Huffington Post. For those of you who want "all the dirt" on my divorce, it's here. Kinda. Original title was "One Request Before You Leave: How a road trip, the Beatles, and a motel in Missouri made me a better ex-husband." But long titles are pretentious and don't work for SEO (search engine optimization) purposes, so it's been shortened to a more respectable "How a Road Trip Set to a Beatles Soundtrack Made Me a Better Ex-Husband." Either way.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/oral-fixation/how-a-road-trip-set-to-a_b_4747794.html

I've received a lot of positive responses from people, both friends and strangers. I'm glad that my story (mine and Melissa's, actually) has been able to connect with others and their own experiences. What more could a writer want? I believe in good divorces--amicable partings, where parents can remain not just "friendly" but friends, and they can work together in the best interest of their child. Thank you Melissa for your blessing on this story and, the one thing that wasn't really mentioned, how you played such a huge role in supporting me with your patience and kindness during that difficult time.

And thank you to Oral Fixation creator/director/editor Nicole Stewart for the opportunity. Between this and Lyndsay Knecht's behind the scenes story for KERA's Art&Seek, we've gotten about as much mileage (pun intended) as one could ever hope for from a single performance. Now that it's on YouTube, I wish I wouldn't have shaved my beard at that time. Yes, I look strange to myself without a beard. That's my only complaint. I should have grabbed a fake beard from the prop room.

BACK WITH ESPN 1660 AM

“Unnecessary Roughness,” the afternoon show for ESPN Central Texas 1660 AM, brought me back yet again for a segment on the Dallas Mavericks. Three times. That makes me a regular, yes? We talked about Coach Carlisle, the Clippers game, Monta Ellis, the nightmare that is Andrew Bynum, and mid-season trade pipedreams. As always, I was there representing the Mavs Outsider Report. Click the play button below (or the link). [audio mp3="http://thatdavidhopkins.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/1_16_14-espn.mp3"][/audio]

link: David Hopkins on ESPN 1660 AM (11 minutes, 33 seconds)

MY RETURN TO ESPN 1660 AM

"Unnecessary Roughness," the afternoon show for ESPN Central Texas 1660 AM, brought me back for a segment on the Dallas Mavericks. We talked about the season, which started last night, and reasonable expectations for the Mavs. I was there representing the Mavs Outsider Report. Click the play button below (or the link). [audio mp3="http://thatdavidhopkins.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/David_Hopkins-1383086196.mp3"][/audio]

link: David Hopkins on ESPN 1660 AM (14 minutes, 13 seconds)

AUDIO FICTION: SIX SECONDS LEFT

Audio Fiction: “Six Seconds Left”

[audio mp3="http://thatdavidhopkins.com/media/SGS_AF_005_Six_Seconds.mp3"][/audio]

Listen to "Six Seconds Left"

Written by David Hopkins Narrated by Brad McEntire Art by Jake Ekiss Produced by Space-Gun Studios and Audacity Theatre Lab

Originally posted here.

[tweet "Listen 'Six Seconds Left' #audiofiction produced by Space Gun Studios"]

THE WILD AND WAYWARD TALES OF TAMMI TRUE

I wrote a book. THE WILD AND WAYWARD TALES OF TAMMI TRUE. It will be available in late November. Cover design by Paul Milligan. Please spread the word. This book is one of those independent projects that lives or dies based on word of mouth and that pesky social media. I have a little more writing and a little editing left. Nancy still needs to look over everything. April is going to read through it too. I don't have a link for pre-ordering yet, but I will soon. The book will be available on Amazon. And I'll have some copies. We'll try to put together a book signing somewhere.

In the 1960s, Nancy Powell became TAMMI TRUE, the burlesque headliner at Jack Ruby’s Carousel Club. She lived a double life, PTA mom by day and stripper by night. Then Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald and everything changed.

From Catholic school to the juvenile court system, from a noisy club in Dallas to a quiet farm in the country, Nancy’s life is wondrous and wayward, hilarious and heartfelt. Here it is, her world in her own words—in and out of the spotlight, and ready for an encore.

Tammi True bares it all.

“Using the glamorous backdrop of Dallas in 1963, Tammi True brings the truth about Jack Ruby and the JFK assassination to a whole new generation. It is a must read story!” - Katie Dunn, director, producer of True Tales: JFK. 1963. EXPOSED

"Tammi True is the ultimate Texan burlesque queen with big hair and big attitude. Nobody can turn you on and make you laugh quite like Tammi." - Ginger Valentine, co-producer, director of Ruby Revue