You know you want to read this comic. To be featured in HOW TO LOSE BIG...

Logo by Paul Milligan. We're currently searching for an artist. Just emailed somebody awesome (if you're reading this... hi!), hopefully, we'll have some good news to share soon.

PANEL 1. On Princess Bella. She’s wearing a beautiful puffy dress with lace and beads, etc. The dress is torn and dirty. Bella’s beautiful done-up hair is falling in places. She has bruises and dirt on her face. She’s running, looking behind her. There are squirrels, other woodland animals running with her. All scared. Cute little birdies fly behind her, away from whatever terrible menace is after them.

They are in a boarded up and abandoned castle.

PANEL 2. Close on Bella. She looks terrified.

PANEL 3. Bella stops near a hanging tapestry. The tapestry has stitching of princesses and unicorns playing together in peace. Bella’s tired of running.

PANEL 4. Bella reaches into the folds of her dress.

PANEL 5. She pulls out two large semi-auto handguns -- Smith and Wesson 990L 9mm, 4 Inch, double action, stainless steel. Thank you very much.

PANEL 6. Close on Bella, looking straight at the reader. She’s tough as hell. There’s a blue bird on her shoulder.

BELLA: Let’s go to the ball.